Discussion of the Day
Independence
Sep 08, 23
My twins are 9.
They would like to walk home from the bus stop, is 9 too young to let them do this?
Comments
  • depends on how far the bus stop is, being with each other they should be ok though.
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    • Something to think about especially with the now world we live in...not an easy decision.
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      • If its only a short walk 10 minutes or less ... yes. They have one another which would give them confidence and assurance and should put you at ease. Just instruct them to come straight home or else.
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        • How far is it? Are they mature? Do they have to cross any roads? Can you walk a bit behind them while still watching them for a while until you're comfortable? Do they have a mobile? A lot of things to really think about before making a decision.
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          • Allison 1379648. I like person answer
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            • When my children were 9 they walked to and from school but I'm told it's very different today and when I hear about 14 year old boys being dragged by a car load of other boys who wanted his mobile phone it doesn't sound at all safe. However, if I were you I would let them and walk behind making sure I kept them in sight. That is a little independence while keeping an eye on them. That should make everyone happy.
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              • yes too soon.
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                • Yes. Too young
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                  • how far is it? how mature are they? do they have a mobile?
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                    • Depends if they need to cross busy streets. Are the children know the rules of walking hone ie look left and right. Cross in designated areas and also depends if it isn’t too far. Another rule could be they walk together always
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                      • I would wait a year- but, depends on your area- if a small town- might be good- but I would still be cautious. in these days- kidnapping is rampant
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                        • Depends how busy the streets near you are. Perhaps if someone a little older walked with them?
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                          • I would be very cautious. I feel these days its best to wait a bit longer.
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                            • I would do the walk with them myself before i made a decision and to see how long it would take ,how many distractions along the way and if help is required what are the options .Homework first as its a big risk if not safe .
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                              • Back in the 80s I would say not at all. These days I've heard of teenagers getting stabbed in daylight walking home. So I guess it depends where you live.
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                                • While it is essential that your twins learn to walk to and from school on their own, they need to show you that they're ready for this step. To do so I suggest that you start by letting them walk a little way on their own, then increase the distance as they show you that they are intent and able to getting to and from school in a timely manner without becoming distracted and wandering. (Says one whose 3-year-old followed his 5 yr old brother to kindergarten one day while I was hanging out laundry to dry...happily the kindy teacher phoned to say he was too young to start).
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                                  • Depends how far away it is
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                                    • Only you would know of the dangers they'd face, so put your dad hat on and decide if the risks are too great.
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                                      • We need more context..... small town or big city?...... how far is the walk?..... busy roads or back streets?...... daylight or dusk?...... Personally, as there are two of them, I would be inclined to let them. I wouldn't for a single child, though.
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                                        • Hi Suzette, I remember my son wanting to do this at about the same age. I think that this question begs a whole lot of other questions. For example, do the boys need to cross the road to after getting off the bus to get to home? Is this road a busy road or a quiet street? If busy, is there a crossing or safe place to cross? Also, is there a shop or house they could easily go if approached by someone unknown, or feel unsafe? I was informed by a traffic authority that kids should be accompanied until they are 10. (This was many years ago). So much depends on the maturity level of the child and the environment they are stepping into. I personally think that going with your gut is a good place to start. Depending on the situation, starting with baby steps sometimes works also, in that you meet them half way between the bus and home, then further along the way, until you are feeling satisfied with the decision to allow them to be unaccompanied. Good luck with this stage of your parenting!
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                                          • I think they should be ok
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                                            • No let them start to grow up. A little bit at a time.
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                                              • They have to start sometime... start off by meeting them half way for a week or so and decide if they can manage...with lots of 'stranger danger' instructions too!!
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                                                • There are too many circumstances…close to home, not close to home etc…….I would ask the teachers and find out if there is any legal rule.
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                                                  • Definitely
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                                                    • In this day & age YES.Kids can be snatched off the street I would meet them at the bus stop
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                                                      • regret
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                                                        • Depends on your neighborhood - and the distance! Fortunately, we only get one chance at parenting - could you live with your decision if something did happen? I wish good things for you in this decision, it's a hard one.
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                                                          • Really depends on the area you live in
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                                                            • FAR too young in my opinion. 15 at the earliest. Be very careful I say.
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                                                              • Depends on their maturity. Can they take instructions Could try getting a friend of yours they DONT know to approach them to with sweets to get them into a car to evaluate the reaction. Also consider what happens if one child is sick. Does the other walk alone? Things are a lot weirder now than they were when we were young. You may well regret your decision, whatever it is, at some point.
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                                                                • Yes I agree , it depends on the distance to home and if area is not too busy ie crossing traffic.
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                                                                  • I think it depends on how far. Also are they crossing any main roads or streets without the assistance of the" lollipop person". Road safety and stranger danger are real concerns. It only takes a moment ,lack of concentration or distraction. Maybe walk in a group to start with a parent of another child. You could take turns( a different parent or grand parent every other day). Honestly I lived in the city and walked quite a distance to and from at a young age,but so did the majority of kids at my school. Up to you,good luck
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                                                                    • Depends where the bus stop is in relation to home and how busy the roads are.
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                                                                      • When we were kids we got Pocket Money every week. Mum and Dad used share who doled it out. One week Mum, the next week Dad, then a couple of weeks Mum, 3 weeks Dad, constantly changing, probably because our Dad was an easy touch! But it worked. So maybe do this too and then, WITHOUT telling the kids if they have come straight home and then gone out as you asked whoever hands out the Pocket Money adds a few dollars and say "Mum/Dad told me you did as you were told when walking home for the school bus so I am giving you a little reward, don't tell Mum/Dad!" Yes, it's bribery but both parents know what is going on.
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                                                                        • Depends on how mature they are. Do they know Never to speak with anyone they don't know or who have not visited their Mum and da at home? I thinke Lorne M, below, has got it right. Safety in numbers. They Must also klnow that there is to be no wandering off simply because they feel like it and that they Must come straight home and then, with your permission go off with other kids so that Mum/Dad knows where they are going.
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                                                                          • Having a code word that only kids and parents know can be very important too. It could be a basic word/item, but not one that is used everyday (eg: graveyard, hammerhead shark, zig-zag) or it could be a short, memorable phrase (eg: pyramid of cheese, {a favourite family song}, chickens racing on purple scooters). If someone says they have been sent to pick up the twins (or kids), the kids ask for the password. Only the trusted adult will know the secret family codeword/password.
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                                                                        • May be getting razz'd by other older kids who are allowed to walk. Is it possible for them to have other kids walk with them...strength in numbers without tooking like mom has to protect them. Peer pressure is a powerful driver of behavior at that age.
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                                                                          • I get a taxi after work and I walk home.
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                                                                            • Too young i think. these days they may have to make an adult decision..sadly.. Is there a way you can watch them without them knowing?
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                                                                              • No. Firstly they are together, secondly I assume you have talked about a secret word that you sharewith an adult who might stop to give them a ride. Of course it depends on the neighbourhood they will be walking through. Just a note, at 9 I knew how to tie a tournequie when my brother cut an artery and aswell I babysat 4 children. Good luck with your children.
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                                                                                • Well how far are we talking? Install ground rules always stay together, make them aware of Stranger Danger. I would be inclined to walk to meet them but then keep your distance so you can intervene or assist if something goes wrong. A little independence is a good thing.
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                                                                                  • I think that’s still too young to walk by themselves yet. I did at that age but things are much different now.
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                                                                                    • Depends where you actually live! Here, it wouldn't be a problem at all.
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                                                                                      • I reckon. Not really old enough until their teens, even then I'd be scared
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                                                                                        • I used to walk to school at 5, but I'm 76 now and things are much different. They are the most precious things you own, just bear that in mind as you make your decision.
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                                                                                          • Perhaps I'm an outlier, but I started to walk back and forth to school in Kindergarten. I think the difference is that we only lived 3 city blocks from the school. A long trip, in a big city, where bad things happen some time should cause you re-evaluate your decision. There are a lot of great neighbourhoods out there and there may not be anything to worry about. This may be one occasion where you get input from the kids. Do they walk by themselves or a bunch of school mates? By the time I went to grade 7 (12 years old) there was at least 6-8 of us walking to school every day. Show your kids the respect they deserve. After all, they're the ones doing the walking and facing any potential dangers.
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                                                                                            • My kids walked to school in grade 3, but we only lived metres from the school. If they weren't home in a decent length of time, I'd start walking up. You need to assess how far they need to walk from the bus stop to home, do they cross roads etc. We all had to learn at one stage to look right, look left, watch people's driveways for oncoming cars etc. Then we let go of our parents' hands. Independence and confidence to do so are the greatest things to teach your kids.
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                                                                                              • I say follow your gut and listen to what it says. I also say that you will have to at some point let them go alone. I know it is hard from experience, I do like the idea of a trial run, You will know,
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                                                                                                • 5 wasn't too young when I was a small boy. First day, my mother walked me there and met me to bring me home. After that, I was on my own. Occasionally our cat used to follow me to school, and stay for the morning playtime, when that ghastly free milk was dished out.
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                                                                                                  • very important
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                                                                                                    • no not all providing there friends are near by to team up with
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                                                                                                      • Personally as a mother, on the one hand, it is great to see your child/children growing up and wanting independence, although the problem is it's not like it used to be, where our children could walk down the milkbar and come back safely home. In today's society unfortunately it's very difficult where our children's safety doesn't count in the eyes of the instigator they take pride in hurting and causing severe harm/injury not only to the individual but the family also and the worst part of all is these people do these crimes do not get punished enough.
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                                                                                                        • gives them responsibilty
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                                                                                                          • interesting, I walked my children to school until I was sure they could cross the road safely, they were twins & a slightly older brother, there were usually other children walking with them, however one day my twins & a friend ran into our house complaining about a man, it turned our they had had a talk about stranger danger at school that day a man stopped to ask a direction quite insolently , they ran for their life to home saying all sorts of things which we had to navigate through to find out what had actually happened , thought it would be a good idea if we new these things were to be talked about at school to see how they are presented as not every car that stops is a problem. I know today it seems to be more unsafe & parents need to know where to draw the line as independence is a learning tool , my children are all very independent grown now & wonderful humans.
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                                                                                                            • Once upon a time this wouldn't have been a problem. Kids younger than that used to walk to and from school all the time. Now however, there seems to be so many dangers - increased traffic and also unfortunately some sick people who think nothing about preying on and hurting them. It will depend on a number of factors - your twins' level of maturity, how much traffic there may be along the trip, and the level of safety where you live.
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                                                                                                              • Children would like to do a lot. However what does mom and/or Dad think they should do? just a reminder, keep in mind when deciding, parents are the protectors for their children until they reach adulthood.
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                                                                                                                • As long as you can watch them all the way and see them get on. And watch their return. Kids can disappear in an instant.
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                                                                                                                  • I totally agree with you. Well said.
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                                                                                                                • Depends how far the bus stop is, if it's not too far then they should be old enough to walk. However, if it was one child on it's own I may have another opinion.
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                                                                                                                  • Depends on how mature your 9 year olds are. Only you can decide what they can and can't do as you are their parent. Me personally I would do a trial run (watching from a distance.) see if they can cope without freaking out because it's different from saying to actually doing. Once confident they can then yes and as long as there is no bullying from other students or strangers about. I also guess it would depend on where you live too. Safe neighbourhood and also I would have in case of an emergency numbers near the phone so if any thing did happen they could contact the neighbour or you or ambulance if it was really serious. But then would they call if they were just arguing about who stole some one else's book? Totally up to you but don't feel bad if you have to say No not yet or do the trial run so at least you know if you can trust them to be a bit more independent. Good Luck.
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                                                                                                                    • As long as they stay together and you have talked to them about staying together I see no problem with this
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                                                                                                                      • As long as they have an armed guard it would be fine.
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                                                                                                                        • Depends on the distance & safety in the area
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                                                                                                                          • Only you know the answer as there are so many pros and cons. It all depends on how responsible your children are. My children walked together but we lived is a small town. I spoke to the bus driver. I always kept an eye on the time and they had rules. Stick together, no talking to strangers etc. I made sure they used the pedrestrian crossing to cross the road, they were taught how to cross too. I also had safe houses they could go to if there was ever an issue. It worked very well and helped with responsibility. There were very small issues like ringing the bell on the bus a stop early but they worked through it together. They never rang the bell early again.
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                                                                                                                            • Nine is a bit young in this day and age - how far away is the bus stop from home - if you can watch for them from your home that would be the only time I would let them walk alone.
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                                                                                                                              • 9 is not to young. Still depends on the circumstances. Maybe watch them a few times and see how they perform. Although if you're spying on them to see how they perform they might get scared of you following them.
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                                                                                                                                • Depends on how far it is and how big a place you live in and whether it not you can watch them walking
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                                                                                                                                  • It's a different time and age. I was walking around alone in town when I was 7 and 8. It was a small town and safe. But now, no way. Too many crazy and sick people out there.
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                                                                                                                                    • In my opinion, 9 is too young.
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                                                                                                                                      • You are the best judge of that question, it depends on how sensible they are. Whenever I go for a walk with my grandsons (6yo twins) we stop and say "Look to the right, look to the left and look to the right again" before we start to cross a road. They know what to say and do, but occasionally I see them rush across before they remember to do the check. So in my case, they are not yet ready, but in your case those twins have a few years worth of extra education -
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                                                                                                                                        • Yes, it is too dangerous. They can be easy targets for kidnapping. Two days ago we had a 13 year old taken off the street and into a car. Do not be foolish and risk your children's lives. Even leaving them at home at a young age. One girl who was 13 years was left with two younger sibblings. She was taken from her home rapped and killed.
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                                                                                                                                          • Yes, all children need adults' supervision. to and from bus stop
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                                                                                                                                            • The is unimportant. Are they responsible. How far is the walk, what is the neighbour like. You need to ascertain for yourself - like you do when buying something, go somewhere, you weigh up the pros and cons, and live. or you can exist in a box of fear, neither you nor the children will every live life. You and the twin could slip in the shower and be gone. Fear of what may never happen stops you from living.
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                                                                                                                                              • Depends on your location, usual road traffic volume and the bus stop distance. Having said that I am in favour of giving them the freedom and responsibility to do so.
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                                                                                                                                                • No If they know where they live and stay together and not talk to strangers.
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                                                                                                                                                  • How far is the bus stop??
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                                                                                                                                                    • Never was case for me
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                                                                                                                                                      • ty Morenita
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                                                                                                                                                        • No 9yrs is not to young to let children walk from the bus stop. But it does depend on how the roads are for safety .If the roads are busy then maybe the child needs help from a adult.
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                                                                                                                                                          • It depends on the individual child I would also take into account whether there are streets to cross, if there is a crossing guard, how busy the street is etc. My son started to walk to and from school independently at 9, but no busy streets to cross, and lots of other children walking at the same time.
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                                                                                                                                                            • Think about your location, the area you live in, would you feel really comfortable allowing them to walk home, if you have any doubts, their safety is imperative! My son’s partner’s daughters are 15 now, live in a suburban area of a large city, and their mother still doesn’t feel comfortable allowing the girls to walk to far without adult supervision. ‘If any doubts, don’t do it’
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                                                                                                                                                              • no Not too young, BUT It depends where you live - how far it is etc etc.. ,
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                                                                                                                                                                • I say there are too many variables such as neighbourhood safety... any bullies or perverts or gangs or drug users or mentally ill who may bother them. Other kids to walk with them? Are they responsible and likely to follow directions and come straight home, together? If one is more mature and will always come home but the other wants to go to a friend's house, that's too much to put on the more mature child's conscience if something bad were to happen to his sibling (besides catching grief when he gets home). You know your kids better than we do. Use your Mom-gut and trust it to make the right decision. If you feel you need to have someone more responsible walk with them until you're confident in them on their own, then do that; even if your boys don't like it. Just tell them you're doing it for you to be able to relax until they're a little older. If you say it's because you don't trust them, they'll be hurt by that and argue.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • ilived in the country and we had to walk to school
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                                                                                                                                                                    • I wouldn't allow them to walk home. Too many perverts and other bad people in this world. Don't put your kids in danger like that.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • THESE DAYS JUST HAVE TO BE REALLY CAREFUL,TOGETHER IS HELPFUL IF THE WALK HOME AND HOPEFULLY NOT FAR FROM BUS STOP...
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                                                                                                                                                                        • as long as they walk together or with someone else
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                                                                                                                                                                          • Years ago, when I was young, I walked home from the bus stop myself (small/rural town) because my mom worked. A guy tried to talk me into getting into his car. I said no, but he kept following me. I instinctively knew not to go home where no one was, so I just turned around & started walking quickly in the other direction. He watched for a bit, then gave up. Could have been tragic! I think they're too young, but if you're confident there is a safe place for them to run to in a situation like I had, be sure to lay down all the things to do to keep themselves safe.
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                                                                                                                                                                            • Of course there are many factors to consider when making this decision. How safe is your neighborhood, how far do the children have to walk, will they walk together and or in a small group, are they responsible children? Sometimes children behave like they are older and more responsible and other times no so much? Would you be able to observe them secretly, from a distance, and see how they behave? This could be a life changing decision but it is only one of many as your children grow. I have been there done that. Good luck.
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                                                                                                                                                                              • Depends how far it is, and if you will be able to ensure they are safe. Like can someone meet and walk with them?
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                                                                                                                                                                                • Not usually but these days you have to factor in where you live, the safety of the area, streets they have to cross, gangs in the area. All very sad for this wonderful country of ours going down the drain same as US. Kids going to school was very safe once but not any more. I think I would feel better taking them and picking them up.
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                                                                                                                                                                                  • It depends on many factors -- the neighborhood, traffic, etc.
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                                                                                                                                                                                    • Don't have kids - don't really 'feel' comfortable answering this question (too many unknow factors involved: mature level, common sense, street smarts, street toughness, mental toughness (of your kids), etc.)!
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                                                                                                                                                                                      • No, if you have educated them not to allow strangers to pick them up, etc.
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                                                                                                                                                                                        • At the moment if you live in Melbourne no.! Sorry. I took my son to school each day and picked him up . It was just an easier route as we lived further from the school. My sister and I however used to ride our bikes or walk 3 blocks there. All dependant on your neighbourhood and your twins!
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                                                                                                                                                                                          • I don't think it's too young, especially since there's 2 of them (my twins just turned 25 🥰 However, there's more to think about. How far is it? Are they walking in a safe area? Are they responsible? It's good to let them grow up...and you can do it in stages. If you think they are able to safely, then maybe follow behind for a few days to see their behavior and for your sense of well-being mentally. If they do well and they listen to rules, then have at it and free up that walking time to bake them after school cookies that you can enjoy with them as you discuss the highlights of their day. That just might become your days highlight too. Congratulations on becoming the parent of big kids, every stage is wonderful as well as being hard work.
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                                                                                                                                                                                            • It really depends how far away your home is from the bus stop, are they crossing any busy roads. Do you have any concerns with any of the people in your neighborhood. Are your twins reasonably mature and sensible for their age.There are a lot of factors to weigh up before deciding.
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                                                                                                                                                                                              • No let them do things and develop their confidence..stand on their own...
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