I was pleasantly surprised when asked at the checkout in supermarket, how are you? It took a while till I learned that that’s a question requires the answer, well, thank you. That was when I moved to Australia 30 years ago.

i feel like shit today thank you ;-))

No one who asks the question really wants to know how you are. It’s just a phrase of recognition like “Have a nice day”. It’s meaningless but does recognize your existence.

Nobody cares, its just a parrot reply, would they even stop to hear the answerEdited 16-May-22 02:20am

I don't know. I think sometimes people ask it because they want some reassurance themselves. There are a few occasions with family or close friends where I have realised people actually do care about the answer. I don't think it should be changed. I think society doesn't care enough about its elements as it is. We need to start looking out for one another more - myself included! Edited 16-May-22 01:38am

Yes, only yesterday someone said hello how are you. My reply was fine thank you. Yet I have been feeling down lately. I try not to bother others with my feelings unless it is family

That's not how most people interpret it.

I think it's all the rage today, to intrude. Occasionally, that intrusion is warranted, when, say, you really are worried about a friend's mental/emotional well-being. But for the most part, when invented, that question was asked as an ice-breaker, and as such, did not require a long dissertation one how one actually was, at the time of asking. But I guess it's all in the intonation, and circumstances. I agree on the whole, with Walter W. Why would you want to break a Polite Habit: as long as it is done, freshly, each time. If it is said as a trite comment/question, then it ceases to be polite. How it is answered should be up to the questioned one's discretion, and/or circumstances.

True that! But if you read and hear the crap that goes on with social media and the news, the famous and the nobody's who pretend they are,..all you dam read or hear....is about their so called issues. Its like they think the world gives or should give a stuff. And manners are still needed .The thanks, and sorry, but I don't think the millinenium people learn much of that.Edited 16-May-22 00:41am

We were taught never to speak to outsiders regarding any problems, illness, financial, marital, etc. Always say well thank you if asked and respond with and how are you. I still do. One has friends, doctor, family or someone to speak to in times of necessity when we need to talk something out. I actually talk to my dog funny as that sounds. She is a better listener than most people and usually I have the answers to my problems myself. I am quite logical and pragmatic which helps. Everyone has their own problems and mostly do not want to listen to someone elses. Of course, if you are really struggling then you do need to get support. A lifelong habit of good manners should never be broken in my opinion and it should be instilled in the young of today who seem to have missed those lessons in many cases.

Actually, most that ask that question, How are you! They usually ask as a form of greeting. Tho not everyone wants to get into a discussion about how they are, it all depends how close that person is to the one doing the asking. If its a person that you are not too familiar with, then its probably more...just appropriate to just say , im fine! Its more polite not to discuss personal stuff with people you don't know and they probably don't really care. They are really only being polite. You just treat it as such. Edited 16-May-22 01:01am

How do you break a lifelong polite habit? I don't think you can! Should homo sapiens attempt to break lifelong polite habits? Debatable (however, society is getting rude and crude)!

I always answer "Fine!". No one wants to hear about your troubles.

This is a silly discussion! Why the heck is this such an issue anyhow? Why not be simply truthful for once...its you that seem not to be, don't know why?

They ask, I tell them...sometimes I bet they think they shouldn't have asked LOL As for asking others (strangers) I have started giving compliments instead.. your top looks gorgeous, I love your hair colour or offering help with groceries etc...you can make someone's bad day a little brighter. A couple of days ago I asked a man on crutches if he wanted help with anything. His face went from Storm to Sunshine. He said no thanks and then we had a couple of words and a chuckle with each other....a little spot to brighten both of our days and it didn't cost me a thing.

I bought a book for a friend who had recently moved to Australia.."How to be 'Stralian"....in this invaulable text book ..it advised that the locals would ask you questions like "how's it going mate?"..or "you right mate?"...and that it was important to understand that nobody cared about how you actually were at all...that they really didn't want to know....and that in Australia ....the only acceptable answer was "good" ....there is a lot of truth in that! Edited 16-May-22 00:11am

That's probably not what she means. She merely asked a question!Edited 16-May-22 00:10am

Used to say that by rote but nowadays say “happy thank you”.

Its a strange life long habit, we can all attest to this, baby boomers in particular. Had THR on 26/4 my son rang, asked how are you doing mum ? Yes ok thanks , and you ?? take the spotlight off me. We were taught no matter what smile and say yes all is good thank you. Should have said to my son, I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck.... Stoic ?? Edited 16-May-22 00:08am

Keep telling yourself everything is ok and eventually everything will be okay stay positive