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Discussion of the Day
The Bride - to - Be
EnBird24Jan 17, 24
We all know when you're getting married, it does cost an arm & a leg. With the high rise of cost of living, people barely make the essentials in today's world. Every wedding has its special moments for any bride to be, but is it necessary for the bride to go over stream & be so much poshy & out of the ordinary flaunting money, without considering her bridal party if they can afford it or not. Usually the matron of honour has to fork out a lot of expenses for her, regardless she can afford it or not. Me personally I find this is not fair. When the bride gets told of this, she complains as you can't afford her demands. Wedding is not all about money & what you can or can't get with money. It is all about love & to celebrate it with family & friends in reality normal way. What do you think about a bride going overboard with you?
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  • Lorinda 1427119
    You got it girl. When a Bride marry into to money and watching it first hand it is so sickening. Going from an every day working girl to what she thought then to be now (Royalty) and slowly dismissed everyone. Guess the Groom learnt very quickly of how poorly she treated others. He divorced her under 18mths. Sad to say we all had the last laugh
    ·
    • Maureen G-Melb.Vic.
      Thankyou for your comment Helen A 395807 I get a little bit tired of hearing of the reaons people get divorced, as my sister in law said they have a few hurdles to overcome and they throw in the towel.
      ·
      • pam rae
        hello Helen A and all, have a great time..
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        • Lindy B 1381390
          When accepting to be apart of the bridal party, that is the time you tell the Bride your intentions financially! Always be upfront from the beginning, saves disappointment & arguments. Wedding are so over the top most of the time…
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          • Phyrephly
            the marriage is the important bit; The wedding, not so much. Sure it's nice and all to have the lovely gowns/suits, pictures whatever, but all you really need is both families and friends who love you, to try to get along for a few hours on a certain day, maybe a few nice pictures here and there, for the wedding book, and your done with the 'wedding'. Then the real work (and fun) begins - the MARRIAGE. This is the 'thing' a smart bride and groom - and attending families and friends - should be investing in, especially nowadays.
            ·
            • Pam G 449028
              A wedding doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, but as soon as you mention a wedding or 21st birthday the location, food and drinks prices double. The bride needs to be mindful of treating her bridal party with respect, if I was asked to be the matron of honour, I would be letting the bride know that money is tight so please don’t be over the top with what you want.It has been happening for years and now the supermarkets and catching up.
              ·
              • Priscilla R 316016
                I found it was easier to elope and tell everyone once we returned. No awkwardness with presents, people trying to make time to get to the wedding, and the usual bitchiness that often occurs if someone is left off the guest list to keep costs down..
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                • Phyrephly
                  :D, if I was getting married - to some poor shmuck (lol) - I'd be spruiking to do that, too!
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              • Justine 1330102
                Not fair. Bride, and Groom must have consideration of the wedding party, and guests too if they choose something costly.
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                • Sarah G 76834
                  A wedding should not be too expensive. Those who are paying for it should discuss it beforehand and make a budget for it. I have never heard of the matron of honour having to fork out the money for it. It used to be the bride's parents but more and more the groom's family is helping to pay. I have even heard of friends helping pay for the wedding. Why not have a barbecue at the beach?
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                  • JANET R 328390
                    I know a lot of people will not agree with me - BUT if I ever get married again - it will probably be a very low key affair - perhaps a celebration at my house or a barbecue at a local Park. There is NO WAY I will go into debt for my wedding OR EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO. As far as I am concerned a wedding is about celebrating THE LOVE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE........................
                    ·
                    • Pat C 618241
                      When I married we were still recovering financially from the II World War and as the eldest and first to marry I decided to rent a wedding dress. I was married in satin and enjoyed the fun of the reception at my parent's house, knowing in a day or two I would give my dress back. I never regretted not having all the cost of the event catered for - I thought it was quite fun to have one's friends and family all together in our home for this special day.
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                      • Catalina
                        Never happened to me or with me.
                        ·
                        • writerrochelle
                          After 55 years of trying to give all I could to men to make them happy, and getting nothing in return, I'm ashamed to say I tell young women now to remain single and, "Use them, abuse them, then lose them!" I've got nothing good to say about marriage anymore. Sorry... ;-(
                          ·
                          • JANET R 328390
                            I am sorry to say - I feel very much like you. Most people seem to have ulterior motives these days or after someone with money. Best wishes to you. And YES I made the mistake of trying to make people happy - I eventually learnt happiness comes from your own heart. True happiness that is.
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                          • writerrochelleJANET R 328390
                            Thank you. Well said! ;-D
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                        • CourtneyM1993
                          Seriously if had to pay I would b saying no straight away it should b the brides responsibility not maide of honour. Why should someone else have to fork our $$$ for the bride
                          ·
                          • Mariaj
                            I think marriage is overrated... Literally man-made for their benefit only
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                            • View all 4 replies
                            • JANET R 328390
                              AGREE. hahaha
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                            • Paul R 936022
                              Read Genesis 2:18-25 God instigated marriage
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                            • PhyrephlyPaul R 936022
                              yeah, nothing wrong with marriage, it's the people involved who make or break it! The institution (of marriage) is ... well, beautiful, really. Actually, it's the foundation of all society. That's why it's attacked so much today, with the attending erosion of community and society.
                              ·
                            • MariajPaul R 936022
                              Original Marriage had nothing at all to do with any religion and pre-dates the bible
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                          • Paula J 395266
                            When I got engaged I was 17 so not old enough to get married so everyone had time to save the money for their dresses. As it was to be my only wedding I knew what I wanted and all agreed and I'm pretty sure no undue costs were imposed upon my bridesmaids. Fifty seven years later I'm still in touch with one of them, occasionally hear from another but lost touch with my chief bridesmaid not that long ago. I'm not happy about it but you can't have a friendship that is one sided.
                            ·
                            • Kristina L 134251
                              I don’t know. When I married it was during the start of Covid and was just us two and 2 witnesses
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                              • Greg B 520364
                                If she wants to go overboard let her jump. She might not be able to swim.
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                                • Yuk wai 1447673
                                  Weddings are about celebrating love in a way that feels right for the couple and their budget. It’s totally understandable that brides want a memorable day, but it’s crucial to think about how it might affect the bridal party financially. Chatting openly about it helps find a balance between creating special moments and respecting everyone’s wallet. The main focus should be on creating meaningful connections and sharing joy with loved ones, rather than putting too much pressure on the budget for extravagant displays. It’s all about finding that sweet spot where everyone can enjoy the celebration without unnecessary stress.
                                  ·
                                  • merricat
                                    When I got married, 48 years ago, my husband-to-be had just graduated from college, literally, it was the week after his graduation! My mother was a widow with 5 kids, so I had to pay for the wedding by myself. It was a lovely wedding, nothing outrageous. I was very unhappy when my future mother-in-law presented me with a list of people that "simply HAD to be invited because they , MIL &FIL had been invited to their family weddings". They never offered to help me with the extra cost of adding 30 more guests that I never met. That was a long time ago, but it still upsets me when I am reminded about it.
                                    ·
                                    • Mary G 409440
                                      Wasn't a good start with your relationship with mother-in-law. I hope she became less selfish and more caring with age.
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                                    • PhyrephlyMary G 409440
                                      seconded!
                                      ·
                                  • Allen B 175494
                                    People waste to much money on weddings,money that could be wisely spent on your future.
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                                    • Grant 1393984
                                      It's fine to dream of being a princess and spending the earth but reality needs to step in at a time like this. If the groom is worth his salt he will make your day more special than you could ever imagine and that doesn't involve spending lots of money!!
                                      ·
                                      • Edith v
                                        No problem ,if the bride didn't discuss with the girls what SHE wanted then I would suggest what IS affordable & if bride not happy just decline to be in the bridal party.I discussed everything with mine & the girls all shared cost (which were realistic)of kitchen tea etc & all went well
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                                        • Melanie G 87848
                                          These days there's live stream, so keep it simple and if anyone wants to watch it they can
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                                          • Shawn B 1061185
                                            It's all about Me, Me, Me! I'm so rich I can do all this and more! What are you going to do?
                                            ·
                                            • Donald
                                              you are?
                                              ·
                                            • Shawn B 1061185Donald
                                              Just one of the unwashed, under fed, under employed, sick and tired of all the greed in the middle-upper classes.
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                                          • Colin L 88398
                                            Bridezilla are best to strear cleal of as they are divorced from reality just like they are likely to be in 12 months time when they are no longer witht hier partner.
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                                            • Wendy Q
                                              I kept it simple, had the wedding in my back yard, had a cheap and cheerful bbq wedding supper, with just direct family and closes of friends. Great day.
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                                              • Toni 1416358
                                                I agree it should be about celebrating the love and its unfair to demand above and beyond a normal way of doing it and especially with the way the economy is now.
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                                                • Sonya F 68771
                                                  A simple wedding does not have to cost the earth
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                                                  • Amy B 1078427
                                                    Elope is the best choice
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                                                    • Barbara T
                                                      yes ..... and cheapest!
                                                      ·
                                                  • Dorothy 1435842
                                                    If you love one another ,wedding is in order
                                                    ·
                                                    • Anne 1385855
                                                      Just a simple ceremony is better than a big one as if it doesnt work out you have wasted a lot of money.In 1984 I married and had a church ceremony and a wedding reception in front of a lot of family and friends.It didnt last and my parents were left with a debt.In 1989 I married again to a lovely man and had a wedding in a little local church and a reception at a family members home which was catered for.This was a easy way to have a wedding and yes we are still together to this day
                                                      ·
                                                      • SamAntix
                                                        Are people still getting married?
                                                        ·
                                                        • Laurel 1400238
                                                          A simple wedding it better
                                                          ·
                                                          • Glenyse H
                                                            Times are changing and so are weddings and their costs. A modest cost of wedding should be considered ie less expense on ceremony , dresses etc would make sense.
                                                            ·
                                                            • IdentifyAs
                                                              With the amount of failed marriages and relationships, it's not worth the cost. My only daughter told me that she doesn't want kids and is unlikely to marry and she's already 25. Doesn't want kids either. No way her sperm donor would cough up anything. Looking at the losers she has been seeing I'm almost relieved!!
                                                              ·
                                                              • Roslyn A
                                                                Hmmm....I made my dress, I made my veil, I made all the bridesmaids dresses, I arranged the flowers, I made all the gifts for the wedding party, I made all the table decorations. I would have cooked everything but my home was too small to cater for a 50 person wedding so it was held at an event centre. It is just a celebration for the commitment we make, not really meant to be too lavish, what's the point?
                                                                ·
                                                                • Robert T 597718
                                                                  not fair selfish bride due for disaster
                                                                  ·
                                                                  • Paul B 522937
                                                                    I think that’s why many couples just live together
                                                                    ·
                                                                    • Terry G 153626
                                                                      And are just as happy or unhappy.
                                                                      ·
                                                                    • Paul B 522937Terry G 153626
                                                                      True
                                                                      ·
                                                                  • Maria B 89860
                                                                    Definitely not my cup of tea. I cooked for my wedding the night before, had reception at home, most guests just dropped in as they could as all worked, most came to the Church for the Ceremony, told them not to spend much on gifts ... they all enjoyed the food and relaxed atmosphere, there was even food left over so they could all take some home and a bottle if they wanted ... got some lovely responses as well..
                                                                    ·
                                                                    • Bugalugs
                                                                      Do we still really need this sort of extravagance? They can cost many tens of thousands and for what? Aren't these marriages just a carryover from the days of religion? Once it was Until Death do us part. Today it seems to be Until the First argument followed by a very bitter Divorce. Today, more than ever before, people are having great trouble getting together the money for a deposit on a home. Instead of wasting it all for just one day of pleasure, why not put it towards that house you want to buy?
                                                                      ·
                                                                      • Sheree T
                                                                        It's their wedding they should be paying for it.
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                                                                        • GRAEME W 313058
                                                                          Elope
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                                                                          • Christine M 323842
                                                                            If it costs the bridal party and guests any money, other than a gift that they are happy to give, the bride and groom are entitled brats. It’s not meant to be an event, it’s meant to be a commitment.
                                                                            ·
                                                                            • Barbee
                                                                              There is no need to go overboard. There are other ways to show love and commitment besides spending a fortune on a wedding
                                                                              ·
                                                                              • Sindhu 1439439
                                                                                I would wish her all the best and step down
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                                                                                • Gunter L
                                                                                  I am so glad you asked. Here is my plan for an inexpensive wedding: No fancy gowns or suits, just a set of nice, everyday clothes. No matron of honour or best man or bridesmaids. Just two witnesses at the Registry Office. Reception: At McDonalds with a round of hamburgers and coffee. Honeymoon at home for three days, then back to work for both of you. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?
                                                                                  ·
                                                                                  • Jeanine R
                                                                                    yes it does.. I did something like that. Still going strong 25 yrs later.
                                                                                    ·
                                                                                • Yiing S
                                                                                  The true colours of the person comes through while making the preparation for the wedding. It highlights how ‘practical’ the person is when you have to weigh up the money, empathy and practicality of it all.
                                                                                  ·
                                                                                  • Rosemary E 383382
                                                                                    Time your wedding so that you have morning or afternoon tea. Restrict your numbers to relatives ,....and perhaps close friends that you see regularly. Keep the wedding party small. Perhaps hire dresses instead of buying them. The guys can do the same.
                                                                                    ·
                                                                                    • Carolyn K 714554
                                                                                      "Wedding" charge. It's going overboard with the costs. The stores are seeing 'money'.
                                                                                      ·
                                                                                      • pam rae
                                                                                        hi Michael, have fun...
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                                                                                        • Daniel A 2
                                                                                          Didn't spend that much, just got it out of the way in a church. Although I spent so much on getting a big pot of soup for the party at the end. which I was horrified to see my family throw it out the next day, because no one was eating it. Maybe the reason people spend so much on weddings is because it makes them more memorable.
                                                                                          ·
                                                                                          • Andrew T 123623
                                                                                            In this day and age where all gender types wanting equal rights, why do people go back to the dark old days for a wedding. You can have a simple wedding no formal clothes, have a JP to do the service, ask for no gift's and the guests pay themselves for the the meal, and no free bar.
                                                                                            ·
                                                                                            • Gunter L
                                                                                              I agree 100 %
                                                                                              ·
                                                                                          • Maureen G-Melb.Vic.
                                                                                            I agree with you EnBird24 it has just become a joke getting married these days, but then everything is very competitive today. I wish we could go back to the days when a wedding was mainly a family affair, and not an excuse to be excessive. Certain reality shows do not help either they make a mockery of marriage.
                                                                                            ·
                                                                                            • kristian s 513441
                                                                                              Getting marry too expensive nowadays.
                                                                                              ·
                                                                                              • Lorinda 1427119
                                                                                                Bridezilla Yes I was in that exact position. I was matron of honour to a bride whom which she was going so far with expenses that you would have thought that you were going to a Royal wedding. It was so much stress that 2 brides maids stepped down. To have spent in excess of $100 thousand I found this SICKENING. Now 2 years later she is divorced and miserable. Furthermore most people do not associate with her. Nasty cup of tea. A small gathering is so much nicer in my opinion
                                                                                                ·
                                                                                                • Sarah 1325723
                                                                                                  bring a small gathering, i think its a celebration between close ones, not to spend all your money
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                                                                                                  • Tina 423889
                                                                                                    the marriage is more important than the wedding
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                                                                                                    • John 1411099
                                                                                                      Me and my wife got married at a registey much cheaper
                                                                                                      ·
                                                                                                      • JANN R
                                                                                                        When my daughter got married they married on there property and paid for it them selves and it didnt cost that much
                                                                                                        ·
                                                                                                        • Carolina Z
                                                                                                          We spent what we could afford & it was fairly classy and lived happily ever after
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                                                                                                          • pam rae
                                                                                                            TY Beth and all
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                                                                                                            • Beth 1442180
                                                                                                              I Haven't been married in Over 25 years and We Went To The JP
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                                                                                                              • Daniel T 626103
                                                                                                                Do'nt start Married life with a whole lot of debt from the Wedding, keep it simple, but meaningfull, invest more in the Honeymoon, and getting set up for Real Life.
                                                                                                                ·
                                                                                                                • boy blunder
                                                                                                                  our wedding was a backyarder typical pool party type of thing our presents were cakes, beer, salads, meat for the barbie, etc, our relatives and friends made the day, was a great day cost us nothing except a lot of dishes and a long day returning bowls and such, had a good friend who was a celebrant that officiated for us , was a great start 38 years on still here
                                                                                                                  ·
                                                                                                                  • Vivian M 867575
                                                                                                                    My daughter just wants wedding on the beach no expenses, but son in law wants the whole kit & caboodle hence they have been engaged 19 years now!!!!!! Still waiting.
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                                                                                                                    • Mary M 329762
                                                                                                                      I think it's wrongs go overboard as some people's don't have the money. In today world they should pay as will the young couples as well. My father did for my wedding one kg fish all I want have in a buffer. Having guess over wasn't for me. With 10 peoples and my didn't want me to have a cake for my wedding. Eve if I want to pay my money. But my sister my dad pay for restaurant with her guess on her wedding day.
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                                                                                                                      • Tupulua S
                                                                                                                        I was part in the wedding with only 5 people present, The Bride and Groom,Marriage Celebrant, Maid of Honor, and the Best man was me. It was the best wedding ever, Quick Cheap expenses, lots of love. Love can make suffer for the rest of you live, emotionally, physically. and financially { It cost the Groom $500. $200 for the Celebrant, $300 restrant bill
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                                                                                                                        • pam rae
                                                                                                                          HI Pamela.. have fun....
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                                                                                                                          • Beverly I
                                                                                                                            marriage is about love and commitment. Not about how much money you spend. all you need is a few friends and family to witness the marriage. You don't need to marry in a church either.
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                                                                                                                            • Ek M
                                                                                                                              The day needs to be special but it can be done with minimal cost
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                                                                                                                              • Asesh S
                                                                                                                                My wife's niece got married last year and she paid for everything for her bridesmaids and they helped make her day as special as it was supposed to be and I thought it was very good of her.
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                                                                                                                                • phillH
                                                                                                                                  tbh i couldnt care less weddings are a waste of money as are funurals humans are stupid
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                                                                                                                                  • Ernie 67
                                                                                                                                    I don't think that's right. Yes it's a big deal and hopefully the only one you'll have but what's the harm in taking into consideration the expenses that some can't afford. My own wedding was simple and we will be celebrating 31 years in August.
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                                                                                                                                    • Kerri 1451043
                                                                                                                                      I would take requests into consideration but realistically I will pay for what can be paid for and what's affordable.
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                                                                                                                                      • Claude H
                                                                                                                                        It is your special day so do the best you can
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                                                                                                                                        • allin
                                                                                                                                          as long as she can swim, i'm good with it,,,,,😁
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                                                                                                                                          • Susan KTC
                                                                                                                                            Like everything in life, it’s all about affordability! It’s a special day for the happy couple, and if the bride wants to be a bridezilla, her parents and the bridal party may have to step up and have their say, or it may not be and enjoyable outcome for anyone. I’ve been of the opinion that living together or married, it’s all about trust, commitment, loyalty and unconditional love. I did decide to marry in my early 50’s to my soul mate and we paid for our own wedding, our biggest expense was the catering and the band, well worth it. My sons gave me away, that’s so special…
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                                                                                                                                            • Kathy 1270954
                                                                                                                                              My husband and I barely had two nickels to rub together. We felt it was wrong to expect our families to pay for what we wanted. We paid for 90% of it ourselves and a few things were gifted to us. We only had 30 people at the wedding and this included the minister and Bishop. We only invited the people who were most important to us. We had a sandwich buffet after the service.
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                                                                                                                                              • BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                My husband and I barely had two nickels to rub together - Great Line - LIKE!
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                                                                                                                                              • MoposBLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                Good one Walter :):)
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                                                                                                                                            • Beverly W 1083564
                                                                                                                                              waste of money! I got married by the judge and have been married 47 years.A friend of my husband spent 50,000 on his daughters wedding and she was divorced before the year was out!
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                                                                                                                                              • Linda 3
                                                                                                                                                Yes, it is all about love and family and witnessing an important event. My husband and I got married young and didnt have much. We opted for a simple but nice wedding. Still married 45 years later. I attended weddings where it was overdone and the marriage failed after a few years. I prefer simple.
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                                                                                                                                                • Marisa 1367299
                                                                                                                                                  Not going to go along with it. Will shut her down so fast she will get whiplash, LOL!
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                                                                                                                                                  • Val 1394045
                                                                                                                                                    Weddings are expensive. It should be about family and friends. I was married for a long time and it did not last.
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                                                                                                                                                    • Elizabeth T 396096
                                                                                                                                                      I have never heard of the bridal party paying for their items. When you plan a wedding, you pay for everything. You pay for the bridesmaids dresses, flowers etc as well as the groomsmen's suits etc. If you ask people to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman and then expect them to pay for what they are supposed to wear etc (but you pick it) this is no different to me than people saying they are having a party and asking people to bring a plate, their own meat, drinks, chairs and cutlery. If you don't want to pay for what you consider essential to your party, then don't have the damn party.
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                                                                                                                                                      • pam rae
                                                                                                                                                        agree, all about love and celebrating with family and friends..don't feel bride or anyone going overboard,just have a happy day..
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                                                                                                                                                        • david j t
                                                                                                                                                          everything so expensive now and fragile relationships but what is alternative somone sald to me once its only what you make it
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                                                                                                                                                          • Tania NSW
                                                                                                                                                            Just because you spend a fortune doesn’t mean it’s going to last longer, my husband I have been married 12 years and together about 15. Marriage is loving, forgiving and compromising it’s not all roses. My advice do what you can afford at the end of the day as long as you get legally married you have achieved your goal. It should be about love not a one day party
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                                                                                                                                                            • BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                              When I was married - me and my ex-wife went the CIVIL marriage route (very cheap (the cost of the wedding was less than 100 dollars)) and the wedding was LEGAL!
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                                                                                                                                                              • Cami
                                                                                                                                                                Does not need to cost a bundle. Simple sometimes is best.
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                                                                                                                                                                • APB
                                                                                                                                                                  I would not let her....
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Denise C (Qld)
                                                                                                                                                                    I somewhat agree with you. It doesn't have to cost thousands but each to their own.
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