There are more spoilt brats around than ever today. Some parents don't own a house or much money, so the grown up kids can't depend on their parents, and that's a good thing in many ways. It will teach them to be more independent and work for what they want. If they have parents to fall back on with money then they don't really learn to take as much responsibility for themselves. That's not how you should raise your kids anyway.

You really don't have anything of value to say I feel sorry for you...and I will not waste any more time on you, good day!

Supporting grown up kids a little bit on need basis is justifiable.

Just have to tell them the bank of mum or dad is now closed, sorry!.. I help out my adult sons too but they need to know that we have a life too and it's not always about them, especially if they are working and earning a good income.My two sons that live at home spend money like you wouldn't believe but yet still plead poverty when it suits them so I have had to put my foot down and say no especially with more price increases bestowed on us all.

At some stage you have to cut the painter, to fish out a nautical term.

I’ve helped my kids all my working life now lm retired no so much with money but baby sitting

I help by paying for all meals when we eat out for birthdays, and pizzas after the grandies cricket on Friday nights. I think that’s enough,

Too much support weakens the kids

I supported my child for most of my life. I've been retired for almost 20 years but still get an occasional plea for assistance. It is never enough but it's all I can manage. For the rest they have to rely on their own abilities.

It varies for everyone I think, there are many life situations, and really depends on the parent's and kid's capacity to support themselves. For example I am an adult still living with a parent as I have various disabilities and can't work enough to cover even the lowest rents even with a pension, so if my parent didn't continue to support me I'd probably just be homeless or couch surfing. I would love nothing more than to live on my own and support myself but i simply need my parent to continue helping with this as things are now. I wish I could fend for myself and not be a burden to my parent. I strongly believe it's best for everyone, most of all the child, if they can healthily achieve and maintain independence, but some people have some really difficult barriers so in these cases it wouldn't be fair or even ethical to just refuse to help them, especially if they were your own child you chose to have etc. It's a complicated issue but I think many adults still living at home as well as their parents for letting them are both harshly and unfairly judged, without people properly understanding the circumstances that cause it. And as my parent says, 'it doesn't matter how old you are you'll always be my baby', they say they don't think twice or mind at all about supporting me which i am very grateful for. I hope one day I will achieve independence and can pay the favour pack to them however i can

If they are working then why bother helping them? Let them stand on their own two feet. Other generations had to. Spoilt and entitled brats.

Well for the start my family always needs plan especially kids, so take time and take turn and be more serious about it

I can't help it..!

Very stressful

I grew up with 2 sisters and a brother and things werent easy in the UK during the war and after, when we left school wee all opted to pay towards our keep, if we needed some money for somethting important and in moderation it was there but we always paid it back. My parents were great and always supported us in good and bad times, I can remember visiting them after I had moved to Oz and asked why they hadnt bought a new tv or fridge, they said we want to leave smething for all of you, our answer was you have always been there for us now is the time to enjoy some luxuries. I like to think it made us better people not expecting everything to be given to us.

Never

That’s a tough decision, but setting financial boundaries is important for both you and your kids. If supporting them is putting too much strain on your finances, it may be time to have an honest conversation about independence and responsibility. Encouraging them to stand on their own can help them grow, and it doesn’t mean you love them any less. It’s about finding a balance between helping and enabling.

My husband and I have always helped our children within reason. If they wanted money it was a loan but they have been given gifts over the years. The problem I find is that when we have given them things they seemed to have no value because when we enquired later where they had gone, oh thrown out and replaced by something newer or a later model. The idea of the gift was to save them from spending money they claimed they didn't have.

According to my stepmother, 18! She told me I was 18, and could move out. My dad told me, "She's my wife.", but he was my dad, and she was my step-mother! I moved out, but stupidly married at 18, maybe partly for support, but I felt I loved him. He went to Viet Nam, we had a daughter together, then divorced after only 5 years. Viet Nam took a toll on him. Anyway, I have no means to help my daughter, who is now 56. I feel she should be helping me! I'm in the wrong culture, I guess? ;-D

Make them support you, then twist it up and give 90 % back to them. Education on how to support them selves in return as well, you wont be all good. you might have to educate them as well be a teacher. So I suppose you could use that 10 % of them supporting you as payment for building the mommy school. Of course you can still buy them all a Neo Robot and tell them to get lost. Depending how many you have, but do it like tax so they are all paying for a good percentage of the others Neo so you can cope as well.

I will always help my son in any way

I always am there for them if needed

No matter what age if the monetary need is warranted , yes I would help out

no children no comment

Never too much for me… I’ll put my daughter’s needs before my own till the day I die. Isn’t that what being a parent is…? If you can’t make sacrifices, then don’t breed

I'd always be there if my daughter needed me.

You will always support your children, when they need it. Number one rule when they are older enough to get a part time job, they get one. Start their own independence.

I help out when I can

Yes feeling it n hard when ut is the one adult child you didn't think would do it

My daughter returned to education as an adult. I figured, if she went straight to uni as a child I would have been supporting her. Since I can assist now she is going to uni I figure its what I would have done had she gone earlier so as long as she is studying full time I am happy to help her out.

If they are adults, then it's time to cut the purse strings. Tell them the truth, you can't afford to help.

Just tell them you cant afford it any more

I was taught if you borrow it you pay it back …. It’s a rule I’ve taught my kids and I’m proud to say they learned well

When helping become enabling, you've gone too far. How much are they trying to get along on their own. It should be a gradual process unless they are lucky enough to get a good paying job. As long as they are trying, they will soon figure it out. You are not obligated to support them unless they have special needs. In that case, there are programs out there to help them. Good luck. I think your instincts will tell you when it has gone too far. However, if you've been enabling for a long it period of time, they have learned to rely on that and maybe are over spending. They may have to make some changes in how they spend their money. If they know you won't/can't hand it out anymore, they'll figure it out like we did.

to the best of my ability, i have always helped as my parents did for me, luckily they taught me common sense and I hopefully have extended that to my children, my youngest is doing great almost paid of his home and has a great job as my eldest does, my daughter who has a lot of health issues,we live with to help with grandkids, but there care is our life now but im ok with that it is the best decision i have ever made although a tiring one

Helping out your kids is okay while they are young but if they have finished school and are capable of going out to find a job then they should be doing this. When I left school, it was off to the employment office, called the CES in those days it, and this was what all the kids did when they finished school. Even adults who lost their jobs went to the CES to find another one. It was run by the Government in association with Social security Office. I had to pay board when I found a job even though I was living at home my father said this is what I had to do, and I had no problem with this given I was earning money and eating the food as well as my Mum was still doing my washing so I figured sure I should be helping out. I cannot understand the kids of today they expect everything to be handed to the on a platter and not go out and do something.Edited 03-Feb-25 13:38pm

My mum always lent us money if we needed it but it was always paid back. My eldest step-daughter left school at 14 (enabled by her mother). Since then she has started a couple of courses but never finished anything. She was given a full time job in a store her uncle managed but she left that because she had to work weekends when her mates were out partying. My husband told her a couple of years ago to stop living off her mother and go on the unemployment benefit. Her response was "It's for losers." Well???!!! If the cap fits girly! She is almost 21 and is actively going out and meeting guys off Tinder with the intention of getting pregnant so she doesn't have to work. My husband is at his wits end with her but her mother has been too busy trying to be her friend instead of being her mother. Obviously, I'm not allowed to voice an opinion but, if she was mine........ (fill in your own scenario and you would probably be correct).

If it for a serious situation I would help. Other than that they should have jobs and be supporting themselves.

Join a Ski Club ....................... ( Spend the Kids Inheritance)Edited 03-Feb-25 13:17pm

If you think it's time to cut the apron strings, then it is.

When I was growing up If I wanted something I worked for it

I think it depends on the situation and what ventures are being asked of you to support. I think since you are asking the question you already know it’s time for them to stand on their own feet

Well I do still look out for my son I can't leave him alone out there like that so when he need something from me I will give it to him. I'm a mom

They are your children, why wouldn’t you help them out. Being a parent doesn’t stop at a certain age

As soon as they leave home. They are obviously taking advantage and if you can't help them say NO. You need the money you have for you, for the unexpected. We never know when some thing may arise and we need some extra money like for an operation. I went private so I could have the operation sooner rather than later and that was up front $8'000 and them we got back our medicare rebates. Had to pay first though. If any thing they should be supporting you and giving you a helping hand.

Yes apron strings should be cut but depending on the situation sometimes it takes a village to raise our kids and emotional support is something we always need

I don't see anything wrong with helping out your grown kids. My mom & dad always helped me & my mom still does when I need it. As long as they are helping themselves & not being a lazy bum, then I am gonna help my boys. Now, if they were sitting back, not working & expected me to do for them then they are sadly mistaken.

We weren't given much pocket money in the 1950s - 60s. If we really needed something we would ask our parents to buy it for us. Our 1st pay we got free board, after that we paid board out of every pay. Mum made sure we had enough suitable clothes when we started work. After that it was our responsibilities. My brother was taught to drive and then helped to buy a car (both required for work). He some money back for his car every week - as fast as he could. Before he got his car if we wanted to go to something together at a weekend we paid towards the petrol to teach us responsibility if we borrowed our parents' car. Neither of us drank alcohol, smoked or used drugs so there was no issues there.

Seeing my granddaughters both taking on paying for their own weddings reassures me that their parents have taught them to look after themselves. They made sure they had a good education and then let them get on with it.

18 (unless they are going to university)....there was a quote from a TV show called "Rosanne"......"All I want is for my kids to be happy and to leave home....in fact I'm not too worried if they are happy..." every time I remember that one I laugh!.... my kids are self reliant...I might give them things...but they would never ever ask.... it wouldn't even occur to them...they are great ... some of my friends seem to have whack jobs for children...so I know I am very lucky..... Edited 03-Feb-25 12:09pm

I don't have children but I've hated seeing my niece and nephew struggle and the impetus is there to help them, but am I really teaching the resilience or reliance by doing that

Support them and teach them to be independent from really early on so they feel confident at the right age

Every situation is unique.

i help mine its all theirs when im gone

The greatest help that a parent can give, is encourage them, then to leave them to make their own mistakes.

lol....

If we as parents are capable of helping, we should. After all, if we cant help our kids. Who will?

They need to learn some things on their own.

I was considered foolish driving my 37 year old son to and from work clocking up over 100 klms a day for just over 3 weeks but hey we all do what we can for our family, but not able to finance them so there you go. Do what you can, when you can.

Start at the beginning with "No! If you want something then you have to work to get it". Feed'em, Clothe'em make sure they go to school with the odd small gift at Birthdays, Christmas. If you spoil your child from the start then you stand a very Big Chance that they will expect YOU to provide everything on demand no matter how old they are. Make them understand that once they turn 18 they are expected to move out, make their own homes but at the same time they will always be welcome. Its a bit like the Superannuation Scheme in Australia. Today children expect that when Mum and Dad have both died they will inherit there Superannuation Funds, Wrong. Wrong, Wrong, From the outset Superannuation was intended to be used by people to Fully Suport them after Retirement and if nothing is left when death comes a-calling then so be it.

My kids range in aged from 37 to 25. All three have purchased their own homes. Unless there is a catastrophic event and they are in trouble, I'll consider helping them. But I noticed that none of them have been rushing to my aid when I needed it. So the apron string HAVE been cut! When they have money for many nights of takeaway food and doing their bloody nails, well!!! fend for yourself youngins!!!

I am always there if my children need me for anything and they realise that this is the case. So far so good

My parents never helped me financially, and I credit that with making me hard-working and independent - and I passed those qualities on to my daughter.

my daughter is 57 and still helping her not married just thing we are a open bank the bank is now closed find your own way get a proper job

I help my son, but when I find out he's using his for lottery tickets then I don't help for awhile, usually gets the hint I won't help till her uses his money paying his bills before fun.

True, but as a parents that's our responsibility.

I will always help my kids but also would want them to be helping to support themselves.

We need a little help at times nothing wrong with it

I think circumstances would be the deciding factor.

The most important one is to teach them how to be independent, if sometime, they have financial problem, I would help but they need to work hard also.

I don't have children but Zi appreciate learning to take care of myself from very young.

I have and will always be there for my family

We have always helped our kids and now, they are earning so much more than we did, they very often help us out. I have had to stop saying I liked something or something has broken down, before I know it they have purchased something or replaced something for us. It's very hard because we now feel like they are the parents. We are a fair size family but very close.

give them no further opportunities

Buy them a house each and leave it at that.

We’ve always helped our kids, however they both make more $ than we do, but I still find myself buying for them or their kids…Once a parent always a parent….

Unsure if your kids are working or not. Regardless they should be able to pay board or contribute to household expenses and budget their money for their own expenses or preferably save if still at home. If they can't afford to do that while they live at home,how can they do it when they move out. Might be time to sit down with the kids and show them the incoming bills,followed by a discussion on how you all intend to meet them..together. You may even need to help them make a personal budget. If they have personal debt( like car or credit cards) then they need to go to their bank and get professional advice from the banks financial manager. It's easy to get lax when at home and spend more on social hobbies,clothes etc. That has to stop. It's important that they start saving now. When they eventually move out they will wish they had.

I always have and always will support my kids when ever I can

I am fortunate, I’ve never had that problem. From 14 both my kids. Had a casual job ( we were broke lol) They have never asked for money We have them both 2500 towards their weddings and my son 5k towards a car , to even things up we do more babysitting for my daughter who has a busy well paid job, and a pretty unsupportive MIL as far as babysitting is involved. In comparison, my sons MIL has their kids once a week Good for both grandma \grandkids relationship too

It is becoming harder to help my children because everything is going up

It has become much harder. Rising cost of living.

Ayudar a los hijos sin importar la edad nunca es demasiado y hablo de la parte afectiva, más que la económica

I stopped helping my daughter when I bought a house for her the replayments are a lot less than she was paying for rent so its helped her a lot now she is living close to me and helps me with things know

we are retired, but do help our children when needed, now we are paying for our grandchild to go to a private school, because we want to give him the best education possible and keep him out of the public school system. This is our choice and we put aside monies to do this when the kids were growing up and getting married.

I stopped helping my kids after I gave them both a deposit for a home.

IF you cant you cant, that simple unless you plan to rob a bank?

I believe in helping the kids if I know they are trying to help themselves get ahead for the future and have a plan

It depends

yes i must admit im guilty of this

My friend is helping out her daughter to the stage that she and her husband are going without.

Mentally support is more important than financially. Have a time to sit down and discuss about it.

Financially supporting Adult kids is probably the WORST thing you can do. I wish my parents would have kicked me out when I was 18. I would have actually gotten off my ass and made my own life and not be in Poverty now.Edited 03-Feb-25 19:24pm

I'll help my kids in other ways not financially.

As long as you keep helping them out, they remain children and will never stand on their own. You have given them no reason to. If your finances are strapped, that's on you. If they are adults treat them as such and stop being the local bank. Let that well run dry and stop filling it with pennies from Heaven.

They always find the apron strings and are not fussed if t hey are no longer attached to an apron. They just join the two bits and make a longer string and hold on tight!

As soon as you cant afford it

They can begin helping as soon as they are big enough to tote toys around.Its called discipline.

If they're16 + they can take a part time job to help out,my niece is 16,got her 1st job 2 wks ago at IGA and she became independent and it's nice to see.

Don't know - I don't have children.

At 14 cut your spending on teenagers in half, at 15 cut that in half at 16 cut that in half,at 17 stop