I have been on both side of something kind like this one I think she knew what was right in her heart but did not want to believe it till she had that child of her own and the love of her baby show her how to love and forgive. Some one became it coukd hare been her or her child

I am definitely not a Good Samaritan - I don't forgive or forget - nothing like hatred to keep you pushing FORWARD!

Well done, takes a brave person to do that! It’s a great way to heal yourself! Blessings

Losing you is my biggest regret and I miss you every day. You are alive through my prayers and wishes, so rest peacefully. Brother!

I’m back having just read all the comments, I was brought up by 2 practicing Christian’s, who were ashamed that I was conceived before marriage, they abused me to physically & mentally, I married he did the same nearly killing me when comming home drunk at 3:30am, having crashed his car, demanding sex, I said no for the first time I had 2. Babies + pregnant with the 3rd, & sex was just awful, he suffocated me till I’d stopped kicking. Ok I brought up the 3 alone & people said they envied me the great relationship I had with my kids. So now I am very alone & hoping to die, Ihave nasty health issues with pain & am 88, I simply want to see my beautiful granddaughters before I die but no answer to that , & I most certainly want nothing to do with Christianity. Perhaps my 2nd comment needs to be a discussion of the day. Amy HELEN Booth

Wow, that was a great thing you did I’m happy for you, I am now in a similar position 1 daughter through her need to be top dog & her jealously if her 2 kids love me or her husband pushed me out of her life & that of my granddaughters 17 years ago & I have just asked at 88 to be included. She hasn’t given me a strsaight no, & never will be honest with me & im getting angry. I have texted her but no answer & that is how she wants it. Her father was a similar cold breed but she is worse. It’s a horrible feeling that I gave birth to 2 who believe her lies. I’m working on it & hope I achieve your happy place too.Thanks for what you wrote Maria

Firstly I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. How dreadful. I think I would find it much easier to forgive a drunk driver than someone who had just murdered him. I think you were very brave going to see her. I think your brother would be very proud of you. BEST WISHES TO YOU.

I am so pleased you found it in your heart to forgive her. We are told to forgive one another as God in Christ forgave us. On the cross Jesus said "Forgive them father, they know not what they do"

You found in your heart to forgive her and I would imagine that must of been hard given the loss and grief to you and your family.Maria that takes a special kind of person to do what you have done so good on you for not holding onto hatred thoughts.That woman is already being punished by living with what she did for the rest of her life.

The trouble with people is that they have never suffered a huge & life changing trauma…until this happens to them I don’t think they will ever have any empathy or compassion or sympathy towards others…I don’t wish harm to anyone but sometimes it takes a tragedy to happen to them before they realise…actions have consequences some more tragic than others…Karma is a bitch always remember she will bite you veeeery hard…try to remember that we are here only by good graces!!!!! Treat others how you would like to be treated!!!!

What happened to your loved one should not have happened. It was caused by an inconsiderate idiotic moron that should have been charged tried and jailed as thise that committed the worst of crimes. The suffering you went through can never be forgiven. Your loved one will never see you with child. You will never see their smile. Until laws make drunk driving resulting resulting in death a capital crime. People will continue to flout the most basic of laws. Unintentional or not your loved one is not here to share your life. The person who walked away is. The punishment must suit the crime. Only then will idiots who drink and drive will understand the possible consequences of their actions. May your life be filled with joy and happiness Maria good luck to you.

forgiveness should be practiced but unfortunately is not done often. I try to forgive & it makes me feel of being a good considerate person

A friend from my school days had her brother murdered by someone who was on bail. Every year on the day she gets all stirred up and lets her feeling loose. That was about 40 years ago and maybe time to let it go as not doing any good. She gets agro when stories come on news about DV killings.

A woman drove head on into my son who was riding a motorbike. He was pronounced dead when the ambo's arrived but he was resuscitated and left with a brain bleed, broken neck, broken ribs, collapsed lungs, a broken hand and his kneecaps were knocked out of place. He couldn't work for more than 6 months and to this day doesn't remember the accident. The other driver didn't once ask if he survived but I got her details and rang her telling her husband that my son would live. He didn't even thank me, all he said was "my poor wife". My anger was directed towards her lack of concern but after I made the call I felt they deserve whatever life dishes out to them because whatever goes around comes around.

What a beautiful story, Maria! Thank you.

Can forgive but never forget

time provides us with insight.

When I don't feel like forgiving someone, I remember that God forgave me for every wrong thing I've ever done and his son died for all of us no matter how large or small the sins, so if God who is perfect can forgive me, I need to forgive those who've wronged me. It's NOT easy, but I keep working on it.

Yes hatred eats you alive. Foregness is when you really heal.

Thank you for sharing such a personal and profound story. Forgiving someone who has caused such immense pain is incredibly challenging and deeply moving. It takes a great deal of strength and compassion to reach that point. How have you been feeling since that moment of forgiveness?

There is a time to Forgive and Forget. Like you did move on.

It was lesson for all to learn. I believe that fate leads us to the answers. Im glad that you and the driver have found some peace from a tragedy that touched you both. God bless.

Having a grudge hurts you so if you can forgive, it will help you and the person you have the grudge with.

My best friend connived with her friend to draw my husband away from me. I have a daughter from that marriage and it was her loss more than me that caused me to be so angry. I knew he had been cheating but never thought he would leave both of us. I talked to him a few years later and to my relief realized I know longer felt hurt so we could both get on with our lives without mutual bad feelings

Well Done...Good for you. I guess it was an accident not an intention. All be it wrong to drink and drive. But to be honest In the past I was guilty of drinking and driving. So lucky for me I caused no harm to anyone. A lot of us I believe have done like wise. I don't think I could have forgiven myself if I had ever harmed anyone.

What a moving story. I lost my father similarly. I never knew the man that was responsible. But held onto the hate for a very,very long time. And like you eventually found a way of letting it go and forgiving the one responsible. The fact that you knew who it was and spoke to them is a testament to your strength. And the forgiveness you gave them will not only stay with them for the rest of their lives,but gives you permission to let go of the hate and start to heal. It came from a need in you,but it takes guts,strength, integrity and empathy. You would have been justified in never offering forgiveness,but you did. Much respect and hope the rest of your life is filled with happiness.

this is a lovely story...reads like a hallmark movie moves

Why become an old bitter and twisted person being a pain in the but to all you know. FORGIVE AND BE HAPPY, BETTER FOR ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Dont ruin their lives toooo!!!

That’s awesome

So great that you were able to forgive yourself and move on with your life.

But we all do it!

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Nice of you to forgive her 💖

Good on you Maria. As hard as it was, you have your life to live and I am sure it has made things a little bit easier for you in that regard. I hope she received her due punishment of time in gaol. Have you heard of the Tannous family here in Australia. They lost two children and a first cousin to a drunk driver. They have turned the whole thing into a business/ charity. They were even invited to have a one to one chat with Pope Francis.

That was a very generous thing you did. Unfortunately I have had a few things happen, so for me I have a very long memory and I believe in Karma. No I will not forgive.

I think you can forgive but the other person needs to want forgiveness too. Yes harbouring hatred and anger against some one only hurts you and some times the people around you. Becoming a mother certainly changes a person's out look on life. We are all human and we can make huge mistakes and we need to make amends for the mistakes we have made. Just because you saw the lady and wished her a Merry Christmas doesn't mean you are best friends, you may never see her again but at least you finally have some closure. You will be happier within your self for having done so. You will also be a better parent not having all that hatred bottled up. You made an effort and you should be proud of your self.

I can forgive someone but I believe karma will take revenge

I forgive quite easily but never forget, therefore the person does not exist in my world

Yes you can forgive but unfortunately lot harder to forget

Forgiveness is never easy and for some it may take years. It doesn’t mean you forget or even trust the person again. However the act of forgiveness releases you, as stored up hatred and resentment usually hurts you rather than the offending party. As a Christian of course our beliefs command forgiveness but there again there is no time frame and each of us must come to it in our own time.

Harbouring hate and so forth only hurts you no one else.

I have forgiven someone in my immediate family many times & then things became good for a while but 4 years ago it all started up again so now we don't have a relationship. Before i can forgive her, I must be able to trust her. I went through a year of seeing a psychologist which helped enormously, but how can I trust her not to do it all again? She has proven that she can't' be trusted therefore I can't forgive her.

This brought tears to my eyes. This will help you both heal.

Not sure I could be as forgiving as you. Bless you.

What a very Christian thing for you to do. For me it would probably be quite different; Unfortunately I hold grudges and can't let go of past hurts. Think me terrible but in the end, I get my revenge. On one hand, I can be the very best friend you ever had but on the other, your worst nightmare.Edited 29-Jul-24 16:35pm

don't think I can do it for the bloke who killed my brother

Forgiveness is personal and it depends on the issue and on how hurt people are depends on if they can forgive. some people say they forgive but they really don't as they still have resentment.

there can never be peace without forgiveness, acceptance /tolerance, and forgiveness are some of lifes greatest lessons

living with unforgiveness towards someone only hurts yourself and I am so happy for you that you had the opportunity to speak with this person and I am sure that what you did made a big difference in this person's life too.

My heart goes out to you - your heart recovered, from a HORRIBLE event and then you made it possible for another heart to heal - Bless you!

It takes courage to forgive when you have been hurt so badly. You are right, the anger & hatred was only hurting you.

The key here is your recognition of who got hurt by the hate I too had a young relative (by marriage) killed by a drunk. I certainly know how you felt and how you finally had some relief.

GREAT AND A BLESSED GIFT/EXPERIENCE

Thank you for sharing, I to personally know of someone who had experienced loved one life taken by a drunken driver 35yrs ago & to this day hates drunken drivers. I listen in silently always ending with teary eyes & warm heart felt hugs

Amazing story. I might share this story on FB, if permtted. Learned

It all depends on each issue doesn't it? can those who took part in Slavery ever be forgiven? I don't think eiother the people or the organisations, Chritian Churches were amongst the worst offenders. can I and my people ever forgive the attempted genocide of our people by the English? I don't think we can ever forgive or forget. Both were as a direct result of Greed, one was the exploitation of innocent men, women and children, the other that one country wanted to own another and, just as we saw during WWII, though this was well over 100 years ago, they wanted to exterminate the people of the land they wanted for themselves. 19th and early 20th Century equivalent of Nazi lebensraum.

Wow. I think u right. It takes time to heal the anger

I hated my mother for years but now that I an older and sick and my children are adults and they are treating me like a pepper, I called my mother and told her how sorry I was for how much grief I caused her. It was good for both of us.

awesome!

While we do not forget they have to carry what they have done for the remainder of their lives. Let us hope they have learned by their mistake

I have lost anyone like that but it would be very hard for the family to live with but the only way to get past it is to forgive and move on with you live I know its hard but thats the only way you can more on and live your life

Give things time...

That is a wonderful story, and the fact that it happened near Christmas means even more. Was it possibly the love in people's hearts at that time of year that helped you heal? It could have been help from God! You must have felt a terrific relief from all those years of pain! What a great Christmas gift for everyone involved! You can live your life again, and so can she. You were right, your hatred hurt no one except you, and I'm sure if affected your family and friends. I feel so fortunate when I think back to my past when I was driving drunk! It could have ruined my life and countless others. Also, I never became an alcoholic. Now I am so close to God, and I turned 72 recently! I thank Him every day for being here for me through my life, and I love everyone and want to help everyone to the point of hurting myself financially. I need to be careful in that respect, but God always provides a way for me to get by. I'm so happy for you, and I hope others reading this can find the forgiveness that's in your heart! We need to love ourselves and let go of things that hurt us like hate! God bless you!!!

That would be an absolutely heartbreaking time for you and your family. It definitely would be extremely hard to forgive, especially when being drunk it is entirely possible they could have an accident and should never been driving and it is something that person is going to have to live with for the rest of their life. It would be extremely hard to forgive but it does help you to move on, your brother will be forever in your heart.❤️

In my religion there is no forgiveness without redemption. So it is easy if the perpetrator can redeem themselves. In your situation there can be no redemption, but thanks to your action she at least had the chance to try. If she is now never drunk in charge of a vehicle and advocates the same for others and does what she can for those she's harmed then that's as good as it's going to be.

Forgive but never forget. do not make the same mistakes as you're unable to forgive another person for. It's tough but do-able

It is good that you were able to forgive her. Now you can move on without the hatred and bitterness in your heart. I would imagine that your heart would feel a lot lighter.

Turn to God's word, the Bible, where we read at Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." Verse 15 goes on to say if we don't forgive, we will not be forgiven, and I need God's forgiveness for my past mistakes. In Matthew chapter 18:21 Peter asks Jesus how many times we should forgive someone, asking 7 times? In verse 22 we read, "Jesus said to him: "I say to you, not up to 7 times, but up to 77 times." We are to be forgiving because God forgives us, "...in a large way." Isaiah 55:6,7. ;-D

Maria, u r so right, Forgiveness is for you not the one who did the wrong. When you can meet the one that hurt you, you have truly forgiven. Now YOU are set free to live a life to the full as God intended you to live.

do not invest in them I learnt that with my sister Accomplishment moving on ..............

Forgiving is for you, I'm glad you were able to get rid of the hatred you had as its no way to live.

Forgiving people is a powerful action, releasing all sorts of negative emotions, allowing you to move forward, we’ll done you, however one can never forget, and that is life’s experiences…

It is a core value of our inner peace and our existence as human and faith in God

Thank you for all your comments. It did set me free of the anger. It is not easy to move on without someone you love, but somewhere you find that strength

Having never experienced something like what you have I could never know what I would do.

MUCH NICER THAN ME

forgiving someone takes a lot of internal work. I commend you Maria. You are set free at last. However, one does not forget the event. As time goes on, the thoughts slow done to glimpses of events in one’s life. Best wishes to you and everyone who have struggled over this.

I can't imagine the pain. If that happened to my family I'm afraid I may not exhibit too much restraint

I think it takes understanding of something inside you. A reason why someone could have done something like that.Putting yourself in that persons shoes, before during and after the incident.

I am happy for you to have gotten past this life changing event, the forgiveness part I mean. There are many ways to violate someone and forgiveness is always an option. If someone took the life of my wife or my sons there would not be enough time left in my life to find a away to forgive. You are a much bigger person than I am.Edited 29-Jul-24 07:53am

I've never experienced something like that but I hope I could find the courage and strength to do what you did if I was in a similar situation.

Wow, that was a powerful message. Takes a lot to forgive someone for something like that. Forgiving allows you to move on.

Thank you for sharing your story. Pray that your story will encourage those who refuse to forgive because it hurts too much to see the freedom that forgiveness can bring. You are definitely right in saying that unforgiveness imprisons you (emotionally). What you did was courageous Maria T. Most importantly, you came out a better person after the experience.

A sad and beautiful story Maria.. I am one of those people that can't forgive. Whatever choice we make both is hurtful, not forgiving is a memory that brings back time and time again the feeling of hate and what we could have done.. Forgiving someone could set us free of the memories and the hate but how? Memories are there for a long time and the two little words *if only* can haunt

That's a beautiful story Maria and I am a believer in there's no such thing as a coincidence. The bus breaking down where it did and the fact the lady was inside working that day are all part of what was meant to be healing for you both. She's very lucky to have not been in jail at the time and that you had the strength to go in there . But I guess you know now she hadn't hurt your family out of malice ,she was drunk for her own reasons before it all went so wrong . I'm happy for you to have at least gone past the horrible rage stage . l do know what that's like unfortunately.. Still haven't been able to speak to my ex relating all that but did get a call a few yrs back from the girl he cheated on me with whilst pregnant ,who spent 2 hrs apologising and telling me they were now separated after 20yrs. Ok so the damage is all done ,but I hung up and thought differently about her afterwards. She'd held guilt for that long, and put up with him as well , also wanted to let me know she was only 19 at the time ,and was now 40 and moving on. I let go of my anger towards her.. and time gets the other one a little less painful but have not forgiven until he comes forward .

you can forgive someone without allowing them to hurt you again, over and over. forgive and move on.

BEFORE YOU GIVE FORGIVENESS TO OTHER PEOPLE YOU FORGIVE FIRST TO YOURSELF AND OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST WILL FORGIVE YOU AND THATS THE TIME YOU HAVE PEACE OF MIND..

TO FORGIVE IS A VERY HARD THING TO DO AFTER MY WIFE DIED MY SEPT CHILD COULD NOT WAIT TO GET INTO OUR HOUSE TO GET WHATEVER SHE COULD OF MY WIFE IT TOOK ME ABOUT 4 MONTHS, AND I WOKE UP ABOUT 5. I CALLED HER I TOLD HER SHE WAS DEAD TO ME AND NEVER EVER BALL ME OR TRIED TO SEE ME AGAIN. THIS IS OVER 5 YEARS NOW AND YES SHE TRIED TO CALL ME WITH NO LUCK. I WILL NEVER FORGET her, AS LONG AS I LIVE. So yes, IT IS VERY HARD

You need forgiveness in your life and need to teach it to others.

the only way to move forward, is to forgive those that did us wrong. Open your heart, forgive them forgive yourself, and move forward with love...Edited 29-Jul-24 17:53pm

I guess it depends on the circumstances. Somethings you can forgive but you never forget so I guess a tiny bit of that distrust, anger or whatever will stay with you your whole life. I am not a very forgiving person but I am not vengeful either. I just wipe the person from my life if it is serious enough and if I have to continue seeing them I keep it civil but would never turn my back on them either.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and the recipient may not even know it. But you're free.

Forgiveness is a gift for you.

I know it's hard to forgive someone or people who did terrible things but it is important for your own pesce of mind. As i have gotten older i have painfully learned to forgive but not forget. There's a old corny adage to err is human to forgive is divine.

It’s like trust once that is broken, I don’t believe you can get it back.