Discussion of the Day
Should you help your adult children financially?
Natalia J 521321Mar 15, 25
It's important to make clear to your adult kids that it's their responsibility and in their best long-term interests to earn their own way. Stress that any financial assistance you provide to them should be viewed as a bridge to their eventual financial independence and not a handout. What are your thoughts? Should you help your adult children financially?
Comments - Page 2
  • it depends but is it appreciated $
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    • If they are working hard and a disaster comes up we will help them.
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      • This is something that has come up recently in our family. My youngest is just about to start Uni,managing his money is paramount. He is now learning from his older brother( because he listens to him more than his mother at 18). I don't mind,it takes a village right.....Anyway, help in the way of budgeting,planning,being able to set financial goals,your wants and needs is most important. If they blow their budget,which will happen from time to time,we discuss how this has happened,work out if the money needed can be paid t debtors at a later date or payment plan. All else fails we all have emergency money.this is strictly for EMERGENCIES. which must be replaced,paid back immediately. So yes i will help,but ther is a process,that works for us. I do it because debt can spiral out of control easily.
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        • I bought a house for my daughter how was a single mum and was paying double the amount of the morgage payments in rent so she was much better off and she has nearly paid the house off she works really hard and I new she would never be able to buy her own home she now lives in the same town as me and loves it here
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          • View all 6 replies
          • That’s really sweet I’m glad she is paying it back though
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          • JANN RVictoria 1437259
            She would never expect me to just give it to her and because she was a single mum with 4 kids she needed my help but she pays the rates and every thing nowbut until its paid off we cant transfer it into her name
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          • Wow. That’s fair enough. Ur a really nice mum. She is very lucky to have someone like you.
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          • JANN RVictoria 1437259
            Thanks she helps me with a lot of things and is very greatfull for how I have helped her she did not ask me to buy the house for her I just did it to help her with her life
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          • That’s how a good mother daughter relationship should be
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          • JANN RVictoria 1437259
            thanks so much
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        • Absolutely agree - no free rides in life !!
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          • Children are encouraged to be independent from their teenage years. At the age of 18, you can vote. You can have a driver’s licence at 17. When it comes to financial independence, that can be tricky. Adult children may need a parent to go guarantor for them in order to put a deposit on a home. That could be a loan or could be a gift depending on individual circumstances. In situations where the adult child is considered to have a disability, it would be harder for the child to be financially independent. Each family situation is unique and not all adult children are able to be financially independent.
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            • I'll always help my children if Im able to .. my grandparents helped my parents and my parents helped me . She saved my butt a few times
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              • I taught my kids from an early age the importance of working for pocket money and saving so they could have the things they needed. I think this is all part of being a responsible parent.
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                • If you are in a position to, why wouldn't you?
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                  • depends on each involved situation. We have helped ours when able but as an interest free loan not a gift
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                    • I like that my family have done that for me in the past.
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                  • Help if there is a pay back in place because you may need that money at some stage in your life .Make it a loan and if you have more than one child you must be able to help them in the same way. Never put your home up for any finance reason. These situations can tear families apart. Get legal advice if unsure .
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                    • Only if you can afford to.
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                      • Choice! A matter of choice.
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                        • Yes if they're studying or if they're a new family. No if they already have started working and especially if they're already working in their chosen career path. To be independent they need to learn how to budget and pay bills. Best way to do that is to get them out of your house and into their own rental first to get an understanding of budgeting. If they are too dependent for that then consider flatting. Once they've got a taste of managing their own finances then consider getting a mortgage and buying their own property which you could help by letting them live with you while they save up for one (as it's hard and takes longer to save up when paying rent) but they have to go through the rental/flatting phase first so they understand the value of money and budgeting. Personally I was flatting/renting from age 20 and had debt to manage back then as had to buy a fridge, bed, couch, TV, new car to replace the old broken one, washing machine, utensils, new computer (as smart phones didn't exist then and needed computer for bill payments, emails, banking etc and to keep in communication with family). This was on top of paying for rent, power and internet. I moved back with my parents after a year and paid off all the debt within a year then went back to renting again.
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                          • Only a house and a boat each and that's it.
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                            • View all 5 replies
                            • Thanks for the laugh....oops were you serious? Have a good weekend.
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                            • ChosenLyn 78550
                              I do set a limit of no moat or drawbridge included and a max motor supplied of only upto a 350.
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                            • Lyn 78550Chosen
                              Thanks for the clarification and another laugh. x
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                            • ChosenLyn 78550
                              Keep smiling. That will be 7,654 points thank you and yes I do accept Rewardia Crypto points.
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                            • I'm up for adoption !
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                          • on occassion not as a right
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                            • HELLO AND TY Mooi
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                              • It's fine to help your adult children a little. My friends are practically carrying their daughter and family to the extreme. They are on the pension and are nearly broke because of this. The promise of repaying is always on offer but never happens. They are finally learning to say no.
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                                • Yes it's fine because of the democrats and George Soros funding criminals and unlawful da we have too
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                                  • It depends on what the financial is for. We have helped pay for our daughters' university fees and towards their weddings. We have also helped out when medical bills are high and with buying item swhen our grandchildren were born. Now that we are in our senior years our children are helping us financially and regard it as repayment for all we did to help them. That is what being a FAMILY means.
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                                    • The cost of surviving is off the charts. I am grateful that God has blessed me so that I can.
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                                      • If your children are in a position where they NEED not want your help financially and you are in a position to do so then help by all means .
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                                        • Help when and where you can with within reason.
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                                          • ty cher...!!!!
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                                            • give help to whom is needed not just your child/ grand children. "Jesus says Go out there and do exactly that,"
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                                              • My first response to your question was a flat out 'NO'! After I thought about your questions - your kids (or anybody kids) could be born with severe mental health disabilities and/or severe physical health disabilities and will need your financially assistance all of their LIFE. Furthermore, other societal factors (racism, sexism, etc.) will definitely come into PLAY that will directly affect their (your kids or anybody kids) ability to financially take care of themselves. This is a good question (good post on your part) - where you seemingly only had two answers Yes or NO!
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                                                • HI, TY Victoria 1546960
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                                                  • As if my opinion matters to how someone else handles their children and/or finances... as long as you don't harm yourselves or the kids, toss 'em coins or bills, just don't poke an eye out ;)
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                                                    • my parents were always there for me as I am for my son's,was never a hand-out,just love....
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                                                      • How sad that you have kids that you need to say this too. Should have raised them better.
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                                                        • At the end of the day if ur children need u all u can do is be there for them u don't need to give money but being there and guiding them is enough
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                                                          • If they really need it and I have it yes I will help! But they do need to pay it back!
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                                                            • No
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                                                              • Financial help can come very late and in many forms: advice, small investments, rescues, interest free loans, 'pre-inheritance' etc. The most important thing, I think, is to ascertain what it means to be a parent/guide/caregiver for life, versus having an 18 year contract. I will continue to help my adult kids as long as I live; they know my limits and capabilities and that I also will need their help as I age out or go to my final rest. (Charity begins at home). Just because the "help" comes in the form of finance, it doesn't shortchange my perspective on what LIFE is really about. As with everything else, best with each individual's decision to help/share your limited resources with family/charities.
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                                                                • NO NO NO
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                                                                  • LETS C HELL NO
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                                                                    • I have been but realise that I shouldn't as I only receive the aged pension which doesn't go far. They need to learn to stand on their own feet and not sponge off of a pensioner.
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                                                                      • My Dad helped me and now I help my own children and grandchildren. I know the joy and relief that it brings, and it brings me great joy to give that to them.
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                                                                        • It really depend on the child's situation, if you tried the help route in the past and nothing came of it, no
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                                                                          • I would help out, and I have
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                                                                            • Maybe. If they have either a mental or physical disibility.
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                                                                              • I watch all my friends get help from their parents while I struggle on my own it hurts to be nowhere in life because I have no support I am so depressed and suicidal as my parents never wanted me to be born.
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                                                                                • My parents never helped me and it gave me a healthy outlook on my finances because I earned everything myself. Create your own destiny. You are here for a reason. You matter, never forget that.
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                                                                                • Bec, I hear you. My mother never really loved me because after 3 girls, she was finally pregnant with a much-wanted boy. She miscarried the baby boy and within a few months was pregnant with me. If he had been born, I wouldn't be here. She never accepted me, never bonded with me, was cruel and abusive my whole life. I think you'd do yourself a lot of good to go on antidepressants after talking with your doctor. Our mental health deeply affects our physical health so I urge you to also get a complete physical and see what may be going on that you aren't yet aware of. I also ask that you talk to a friend or maybe a sibling about how you're feeling. Maybe a sibling has the same feelings you do and you can help and support each other. If you are a person of faith, I urge you to speak to your priest, rabbi, minister, whoever you trust, and also talk to God. He is a great Comforter. Just don't give up. Know that I care and may even understand what you're feeling. I also used to struggle with suicidal thoughts and plans. Antidepressants help with that big time. And talking to my best friend who also struggles with those thoughts. We have cried together and promised to never hurt ourselves because we know how much it would hurt the other person. Please, get the help you need and it may take a little while so please be patient. You are not alone no matter how much you feel that you are:) I pray for you...
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                                                                              • Yes providing that any help will not be detrimental to your own needs in the near future
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                                                                                • it depends on what they need
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                                                                                  • Their were times I did.My kids turned their backs on us and said what good are you.You have no money. Neither one has anything to do with us. My grandchildren love us and they have helped us when we really needed help.We are old and on SS.
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