I would recruit his peers. They usually hold ass much sway as anyone.

I have tried talking to him over and over nothing works. He keeps stating nothing's wrong which isn't true he promised grandkids to get help but as if today still nothing

Talk to him, tell him how you are feeling about his laziness.Suggest to him he should be looking at other job options instead of being lazy but it does sound like he's a bit depressed or going through a mid life crisis.My man did the same thing only I found out he was actually told to leave, pretty much nearly destroyed our relationship however I was able to get through his deceit and lies and he vowed never to hurt me again.

He's been a great man for his whole life. He took so great care of me when l broke my 2 and 6th vertabra he was a rock l live him so much

Well last night my husband got a surprise our oldest grandkids showed up and had a few words for him. They told him how they felt about what he was doing and they didn't like this person. He started to cry and agreed for them he would talk to someone. They told him holding him to this as they want there grandpa around.

He quit I got the papers. Cannot quit my job need to pay bills. I took him to doctors they couldnt find anything wrong. He refuses to see another doctor. Thank you all

So, what's new?

He’s probably lonely. Quit your job too. 😊

DO U KNOW HE REALLY QUIT OR WAS FIRED

Yes cut the sex of from him babe .

Buy a tazer...or if you look like the girl in the photo just get a new partner...there should be a queue...

Finding out why he resigned from his job my give you a clue. Depression can be a debilitating condition that destroys your motivation which could be a reason. You mentioned that you ask him to do things while you are at work, and he says that he forgot to do them, perhaps his mind is overly pre-occupied with negative thoughts. But forgetfulness could be due to a more serious condition, perhaps the reason he resigned from his job. You should get some professional medical advice for this. I genuinely hope this is not an early onset of dementia.

There are a lot of resources out there. If you are working, you might be offered some free counselling sessions from your work. Most (if not all) are third party organisations so you may not be identified by work. Or there are beyond blue, lifeline, men shed… ready to give a hand. I’m sure it’s just temporary. He had been a wonderful person for a long time and the same person will return with your support and help. Best of luck ! Keep us posted too :)

I just need to get rid of him

Ooh it’s a tough one, and I just don’t know what to do fir someone who has burnout from life

Depressed, the modern day excuse for everything!

I would encourage a size 9 in the rear end that will cure his depression, plus of course some harsh words

After 25 years in the workforce he is probably feeling like a he needs a teaching, maybe suggest a holiday away to put a bit of spark back into your lives

Sounds like depression to me. I would encourage a doctor’s appointment or counselor.

I say cut him some slack you keep doing what you're doing he'll come around hang in there

He just finished up 25 years of work.. for whatever reasons ,l agree with what others here have said, He's probably suffering some burn out . Is UIC unemployment benefits? If so he may be too proud to apply for it or be thinking he will get something else soon enough. Time is probably what he needs.. and some understanding..then a nice good nudge !

There must have been a reason he quite his job, so do you know why? Has he always been this way? It does sound as though he needs some help, either mental or physical. If you have a regular GP either get your husband to see them or you go and speak to the GP. Either way you do need professional advice. All the best.

When I was married I I worked 10 to 13 hour night shifts and the whole time my husband and I where together he did not have a job. My husband was just a lazy alcoholic but yours may have depression so it might be time to sit down & have a heart to heart talk with him & get him some help if he needs it. Ask him what kind of job would make him happy, maybe he would like to work in a different field altogether.

I think it is time you had a talk with him. He may be suffering depression but you do have a right to know what is going on in his life. Give him a bit of time to sort himself out - if he makes NO ATTEMPT I would tell him you are not prepared to live the way he wants to - basically you are a servant. I am guessing he does not contribute financially either if he is not working. Last resort - talk about divorce.

have a good conversation about life & expectations and what you both want out of it

Instead of 'getting him moving again', why not ask him 'why' he quit, what's going on in his life, how he is feeling, because it sounds like he's depressed about something. It could be mental, or physical. Be compassionate. You've been married a long time. Help him find himself. He'll do the rest! ;-D

Give him a set amount of time to either get moving, get professional help or get out. If he has a mental problem then he needs to address it, you may need to steer him in the right direction for that, but he will need to do the work.

Sounds like he's depressed. Maybe you need to have an intervention. I went through the same problem with my ex and it ruined my marriage. I didn't understand his mental health problems - especially social anxiety at the time so didn't encourage him to get mental health treatment. I wish I had!

Sounds like maybe a mental health issue. (do you know why he quit his job) was it sudden, were u aware he was going to? If he is not prepared to talk to you about it, then maybe time to call it quits?

send him to the bar with 20 bucks, while he is gone change the locks....

Dee vorrrrrrssss

Try leaving him

Omg!!! I know my husband worked but so did I and he would not even bring in the washing or help with the dinner or vaccuum he use to sit his lounge chair and drink beer....

Kick him to the curb.

Sorry. I had one of those and no amount of cajoling, sympathy, anger, anything altered him. Ended up in divorce. Finally met someone else and had the happiest 40 years of my life.

Just wondering if he has a great friend that might be able to get through to him. He may not know exactly why he is zoning out and then again he just might be dealing with a trauma or a lack of goal direction. Maybe a gentle nudge by asking what he is doing in his days and what he wants to be doing.

Nope, my wife has one of those.

From my experience sometimes a lazy husband can come from other sources like: being very tired from work.Not to be given resting time..,Depressed, Medically unwell, Sometimes a Lazy husband can also come from the partner not appreciating how he does things, or never content, not praising him in anyway. to make him feel worthwile and giving him a reason to get motivated.

Did he quit or was he pushed? What age is he? Dose his former employer stupidly carry on that absurd policy which was invented by the USA back in the 1970s or 80s which meant that anyone reaching the age of 50, or very close to it, were "Made Redundant"? There is a vast differance between being offered Redundancy and having some idiot boss force it on you. If he was pushed then maybe he is in the depth of a massive Depression. Sit down with him and have a non-judgemental talk with, not at, him. Maybe he needs a bit of Counselling - but make sure he/you get a good one and not some airy-fairy, New Age clown who really only likes the sound of their own voice! Did you ever ask him why he quit? You may be surprised at his answer. Most importantly don't, inadvertantly, nag.

He could possibly be depressed not having a job. Possibly contact him to ask how his day been and remind him or ask him if he has done anything of the chores. Not being nasty but I find that some men need to be reminded as house chores are really not their domain. And if you feel his not cooperating then tell him you've asked his mum to train him how to do the house chores...lol. You need a bit of laughter in a relationship.

Take some time off from your job & join him on the other end of the couch.

These are all signs of a deep and deepening depression. If you looked a little closer you would probably discover a real sense of hopelessness. That's one of the first steps toward suicide: the absence of hope. Instead of worrying about yourself and a few unattended chores, you should really be pushing him to seek therapy before it's too late.

Believe in him, give him space, don't push!!

I retired 8 years ag my wife put a list of jobs to do on the fridge I found out if I left the mop or other cleaning things out, she could see I tried but I was never as good as her

Try leaving him a "To do" list before you leave for work in the morning. Be sure to leave it somewhere he can't miss it. Maybe you could call him during the day to see how he is doing. Good luck!

Try dynamite

He needs some mental health treatment

All I can say is Good Luck.

Buy him a " Lazyboy chair." ......... a perfect fit.

I guess he needs a real excuse to do something with his life. I suggest he sees a councilor or joins a men's local group, etc

Maybe get him to see a doctor/therapist could be he has something worrying him that he isn’t aware of ….

L never said I was leaving him. l asked to see if so eone had idea what to do. At least get off the bed and maybe shower. He lays on the bed all day long

It's pretty disturbing seeing people saying to leave him while not having a clue what's going on. Might be burnt out, might be depressed, might be mid life crisis, might be happy just taking it easy for a while, might be developing dementia. Who knows. What are you expecting him to do that he isn't doing?Edited 01-Feb-25 13:08pm

Definitely something going on. Be kind but firm ,you need to know to help.

I think that men find it more difficult to "process " things . Why did he quit I wonder? stress , the need to retire from the rat race. Then only to find that have lost who they thought they were. The long held belief that the home is the womans charge still holds true. Perhaps he does not know where or how to find himself again. Why did he forget about the tasks which may seem against what feels his role in the family. Sometimes I believe that we are too harsh upon men. We are so very different from each other. Can we ever stop trying to change each other and just try to get along and accept. One can only ever motivate oneself.

Something is definitely bothering him to have quit after 25 years.

Do you know why quit his job? Was it stress related?. Maybe he was on the verge of a mental breakdown and doesn't want or doesn't know how to discuss it. Was he working long hours or perhaps not taking his breaks as he should have been? Maybe there is a medical issue and he won't tell you about it or go to the Dr. Was it a redundancy package?.

tell him your leaving!!!

Well generally men are lazy, he needs to motivate himself as no matter what you say if he doesn’t want to do it then he won’t. Maybe he should return back to work but on a part time basis, not the same work but something that he might like. Good luck with everything

Maybe some thing happened at work and he feels bad about it. Communication is the key to unlocking what is going on with him. He sounds depressed, maybe a little unsure of himself. You need to get to the bottom of what is up with him before even more damage is done. Good Luck and I hope things get better for you both.

Communication. Talk with him and discover problem.

get a new one

Well I didn't have a problem but if I did he would do his own laundry, cook and buy his own food and the bedroom services would cost!

Sounds like a case of depression. A horrible sickness which can hit at anytime, at any age. The smallest thing can trigger depression. He possibly is not aware of it. If he won't talk to a doctor (most don't realise they have it) you can help by learning as much as you can about this insidious illness. Learn how to help, what to do and more importantly, what not to do. Good luck

Is he in depression? Get him some help. Not normal for a man not to be doing something.

lol

Good luck.

Mental health check why did he quit his job ? Men are reluctant to seek help before its to late suggest he goes to the doctor for a check up even offer to go with him .A mans feelings are different to those of a women they feel more responsible to be the strong one in a relationship.Seeking help is a sign of strength not a sign of weakness .Dont let depression define the man you know him to be .

First you have to know why he quit his job, people just don't quit without a reason. Can he be eligible for UIC benefits if he quit? I don't believe you can do that in Canada. I have been on UIC but I have never quit a paying job. If this is your husband in the picture he looks like he may be depressed. There are many things to consider, does he drink, are there children in the house, has something happened in his personal or work life and on. Think some professional help may be required if he doesn't start answering your questions. No one volunteers for mental illness, this may be the case be patient.

Get him some help.

Sounds like something underlying he is either avoiding or not addressing. A heart to heart is in order and if nothing is resolved then professional advice/help/support should be sought if you wish to remain in the marriage.

Withdraw his "privileges." ; )

I don't have a partner or wife, do this doesn't apply me. So I can't relate to your situation.

Serve him with divorce papers. Stop feeding him.

I dont have a husband but when i did he was a hard worker and an officer in the army so cant help you on this oneEdited 01-Feb-25 09:47am

I do not have a husband Michael

He may not want to talk about the reasons why he left or why he is behaving this way but you need answers. And if he won't talk to you is there someone in your family or friend group that he would feel comfortable in discussing this with. Maybe he just didn't feel valued at work,or a change in management ,less pay,having to retrain or redundancy. Sometimes just clashing with someone new is enough. For him just to sit and do nothing is a sign that he may have alot on his mind( emotional problems can make you feel physically exhausted). And if that's the case nagging him or getting upset will just make it worse). I have been in your position after my ex hubby had a serious accident. Once he recovered 3years after the accident he was still at home( self medicating) watching t.v etc. It took my brother in laws intervention,many heart to heart talks and him offering him a job where he worked to give him a reason to change. This must be so frustrating for you supporting you both at the moment. As well as physically and emotionally exhausting. So as I said maybe get someone that he knows well and respects( friend/ family) to come around for visits. Like a welfare check. It at least my get him to get up off the couch.

Sounds like depression to me. May need to see a therapist.

close that book and move on your not going to be his mother looking after him

perhaps time for him to move on?

Are you sure he decided to quit his job on his own or is there more to the story than you realise or know? Could it be that he was forced to take a redundancy or that the business had to made cuts and his job was one of those positions they cut and he was forced to leave? He may have been put off for a reason that hasn't yet been mentioned. Until both sides of the story and the truth is known, it is hard to know what to say in response to your discussion topic. If he was unfairly put off, he may be embarrassed or depressed about the situation and if neither of you are adult enough to sit down and have an honest discussion, then you complaining about him here won't help, it may just make the situation worse. He is your husband, you've been together for a long time by the sounds of it. Please just talk to him.

Go to couples counselling

Let him enjoy the couch and he was will on right time

Shouldn't you sort this out yourself this is personal

Appeal to his ego and use some bride or motivation to get him moving. Maybe there is something he is not telling you.

If he will talk with you and you listen without judgement or ideals may work. If he is not a talker is very difficult. Maybe tough love is the only answer. Good luck.. Don't let him rule what you do. Stay strong

Sounds like he's depressed he needs help

As my wife is disabled, I am busy every day with on going bits and pieces around where we live, be it wahing clothes, doing the dishes, cooking and many extras when my wife needs different things

Communicate your feelings

Divorce..

Maybe he's stuck what to do himself? Do you mean he worked at the same workplace for 25 years? Coz that's all he's known. Maybe he's not sure how to navigate this part of his life? Yous both need to sit down and talk this out. Sorry if this isn't helpful.

I would sit down and have a chat with him and ask him how he is feeling and if there is something you could do to help. It sounds like there is some underlying issues there. I know it took me a little bit to get myself sorted after being at my job for 30 years, it was weird not going to do what I did every day for all those years.

Take a holiday without him ... at least 2 weeks maybe linger ... see if he misses you ..... if he doesn't ... move out

Sounds like depression. You don't have the energy or desire to care about most everything. I know from experience.

Can you take any leave and pretend you've chucked in your job as well?

Find some type of employment that will inspire him, and not suck the sole of life out of him.

There is more than meets the eye. What went down regarding ending his job suddenly? Is he angry, resentful, depressed or feeling entitled? Communication is lacking.

stick a flower up his butt and call him a vase

Get home help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUrLuUxv9gE My advice is though don't fall in love with it though, it might upset your husband. It could even lay on the couch as well.