No, I haven't been in that situation. I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through.

try this,, pick an amount of time first, and do this every day for that amount of time, if you could do it at the same time every day it might be better,, but what you do with that set amount of time is meditate,, very soft white noise,,(youtube black screen) and talk with her as if she is sitting there with you,, that amount of time will help you overcome the grief in time,,, in fact you may even get to feel happy about your daily time with with your bestie,,, i have PTSD, this is one of the things that somewhat helps,, try it, it works, not overnight, just be patient and consistent in your sessions ,, sure don't help my spellin , my spellchek is overheatin 😉serious, you can do this,, Edited 02-Jul-24 10:03am

tragic. dealing with someone who is dead is a wee bit too spiritualist for my money. Don't know if this helps but as someone who has lost several friends to suicide, it really is selfish on the part of the person who killed themself... The dead person isn't suffering but those left behind spend all too much time blaming themselves or wondering why. I do hope medication wasn't the real issue.....there are some shockers out there... One dear friend who was a very pretty girl started to lose her looks at 40 so did the gas oven trick. Another one married badly, divorced quickly but drowned herself when she heard I hadn't "waited for her". Morenita, we will think of them every day, in our quiet moments, but dwell on the good times, not the final act.

So sorry to hear about your best friend. It is sad enough when a friend is taken during the course of life events such as a body illness. I also have lost a friend this way but your friends, your memories and time will be a great healer.

love her don't judge her for the choice she made no one will ever understand this choice that she felt was what she needed to be at peace .The mind has a way of taking control of you and this often leads down this path .Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. Hug her in your heart and remember the good times that you shared .Look for a book called the Power of Now .

Im so sorry

She didn't want to worry or feel guilty. She would want you to be happy and enjoy the life she is missing out on. Do her and yourself proud. Live life

Life can be horrible at times...I'm sorry Morenita...we possibly all feel that way at times...but we are survivors and have friends and family around us

There was a time over a decade ago, when I had to try a new medication. Although on taking it it was making me think all the depressing things I usually thought about, where now reasons I should kill my self. It made depression thought, into suicide thoughts. It was very weird. I knew this specialist was angry at me, but what good is the medication doing me if it kills me in that way, after a week or so I quickly stopped trying this medication to save my own life. that is one simple way I prevented suicide from occuring.

I have not been through this my self. Still I always think about these things. If I had a time machine I could maybe prevent it from happening. if it happened was it your fault, But then maybe you wouldn't of been able to prevent it from happening. Still the further you go back in time the harder it becomes because it rewrwites all the future in front of it. Would they have done it again straight after. after spending so much time on preventing it from happening, before now that is. maybe a time machine would be good, but maybe it wouldn't help can we ever know?

So sorry to hear of your sadness Morenita. I think it’s better for you to consult a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist to discuss this situation with your own history of suicidal ideation. These professionals are the best to remedy your Psychological stress. Good Luck!

Its the shock, and not saying farewell as you might had they had a terminal illness .. its not your fault, she made her own choice, and maybe wanted to spare you, not even thinking it would not. Talk to a professional, make a photo album, grieve, then go volunteer somewhere that you can make a difference in her memory

Many times the signs are there ahead of time, you send them for treatment, they come back the same and eventually it happened, so sad. They guy I knew who committed suicide kept leaving notes he was going to do this, when he finally did it, he left no note. We have never figured this one out. They asked him right before he passed away why he did it, he replied just dumb he guessed.Edited 30-Jun-24 20:02pm

Talk someone

Hi Morenita, My sincere condolences to you in this immense loss in your life. Although I have never tried to commit suicide, I have a close family member who made many attempts to suicide in the past. It was a terrible time in both our lives, and we both lived from day to day, never feeling that the reality of death was far away. I noticed that your friend died in early June, so things are pretty raw and probably will be for some time. I would recommend that you talk to someone who has dealt with both victims and those who have been left behind. I would recommend Lifeline or similar as a start. It is really important that you get help for yourself, before depression gets a hold and things spiral downward for you. Approaching your GP or a GP recommended by Beyond Blue (They have some listings of GP's in your area who have special interest in this topic.)I noticed with my relative, that as the depression became worse, his self esteem plumetted and he genuinely believed that the world was a better place without him. This may be how your friend felt and, in fact, she may have wanted to spare you the pain that surrounds those on the sidelines. Never believe that you are in any way lacking in your role as a friend. I have come to believe that this is a medical condition and those of us on the sidelines, can, at best, love and support. Sometimes, we need time to accept the decisions of others. I wish you all the best incoming to terms with this, and get the help for yourself that your friend was unable to access.

So sorry to hear this Morenita. It is just too sad. I think it is essential that you speak to a professional.

Unfortunately it's not always easy to recognise signs that a person needs help because often a person will hide their "true" self and how they feel.I really do sympathize with you Morenita having a niece that has tried taking her life many times over the years but luckily did not succeed unlike your dear best friend.As I mentioned before keep her memory and all the good fun times you both had together close to your heart and never let those go.With time things will get easier as you move through the grieving process.🌹

Suicide was once a very rare thing but it seems it's now on the increase. When I was younger I did feel very sorry for people who committed suicide feeling that their life was so painful that they couldn't carry on but after the suicide of a person I knew I changed my mind. She was my bosses wife, she had one son and he came home from school one day to find her hanging in the garage. At first I was convinced she had to have been murdered because she adored her son so why would she do it when she knew he would find her? Her family were convinced it was suicide, although I don't know why as she didn't leave a note or had any reason, but after seeing how it effected her son I decided that it was an extremely selfish thing to do. She has gone but left her family to find her and clean up behind her. Not nice.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people are very good at hiding their depression. When I was in high school, a friend who was very popular killed himself with his stepdad's gun. (his stepfather was a cop.) He had everything going for him: great grades and was elected to be president of the Junior class. He and one of his friends had a strange belief that if they killed themselves, they would be transported to live on an exotic island. Maybe they were doing drugs. The other kid chickened out and is still alive. My sister and I always felt if only we'd spent more time with the guy, taking him to church, ect., he would not have killed himself.

I have not been through this. But I still think of it sometimes, what would it be like would you think what if I was the cause of it, could have I prevented it? preventing it may have not been the better thing though, because she still may have commited suicide before now, if you are not the cause. That is why I am always thinking of a time machine if I could invent 1. change something after it happened, but the further you go back the harder it gets because all the future needs to be rewritten as well. So maybe a time machine is not the answer?

You have to go on - you will and should grieve- then remember the good times - you will never forget them. Get support and help if you can't handle things speak to others who knew your friend - they wouldn't have known either - youre not alone.

Thank God I've not had this experience & hopefully will never have

I haven't had any friends that have committed suicide, but my youngest son had a friend that committed suicide, all of his fiends all got together and helped each other through it. Time heals...

Pray and ask for forgiveness from their part

Me - Pray - that is the only thing that would help me through such a sad time.

probably feel different to others as having been in that 'dark' hole it is at a tme when all has fallen, you are not capable of thinking, it is not 'selfish' in some cases the whole situation if for another cause would be looked as a terminal illness. Even now after 20yrs I still get those thoughts and wish to hell others hadn't intervened.

I had a friend who I have come to believe took her life. We had been friends since high school. I was aware her personal and work life had plunged over the past few years but had no knowledge of how badly this had affected her. Every thing in life seemed to change for her after the loss of her breast to cancer. From sharing our lives as youngsters she became very cool and seemed to enjoy playing the cool professional.

Guilt is what you maybe going through. Best friend and you didn't know? WHY didn't you know???? If you had being taking more notice, call outs for help she may have done, maybe just maybe you could of helped. Learn from it and maybe you will be able to help the next person about to give up. Otherwise celebrate their life and move on.

It is in epademic proportions in the Aboriginal Nations

I feel for you I’ve had three close family members die from suicide and I know how your feeling it’s taken me years to come to terms with their lose …. Hold on to your good memories and take one day at a time and talk to someone if it all gets too much for you … I kept a diary for years just to write down my feelings and I found that helped cause I could write things in that that I couldn’t say … take care of yourself

By burying them.

Life is so short, other people in your life might help you get through. Go to a place that holds special memories and smile when you think of her.

You can't deal with them, they are dead.

Hopefully I never have to find out.

We just cremated them and moved on

If you aren't having grief counselling I would recommend you do so this is too heavy on your own

Head down Bum Up and get on with life mopping around will not help in the slightest, that is what I found out when my brother and then about 20 years latter a Nephew did the same thing.

Sorry for your loss. It isn't your fault.

Not sure, cannot make comment, it's personal, so we may all deal with things like this differently. We all need support from our nearest and dearest.

This is something you have to deal with. No one can do it for you. Maybe there is guilt..... Sort out your life

So sad! I have had people in my life that did and it hurts.

I am sorry for your loss..I have had a similar experience..I think the key is to be kind to yourself. Mourn for your friend but understand that it is not your fault. Try to live your best life to honor her memory...

They say that very often suicide is a spur-of-the-moment decision and why people do it is unknown. How well do we actually know people? It seems that unless they are completely open with us and wewith them we never really do. It is said by some, and with good reason, that suicide is one of the most selfish acts anyone can commit because they don't think of the pain, the anguish, the guilt those they leave behind will put up with possibly for the rest of their lives. If there were no signs, not a word said as to how someone else is feeling there is little-to-nothing anyone can do. The massive Elephant-in-the Room is that thanks to the likes of that old harridan, the English Queen Victoria and those around her everyione was suppoed to maintain what they called "A stiff upper Lip' You must Not express any Fear, any Concerns, No Grief and No Open Mourning when a loved one was killed or died of illness. Victoria did not live up to that when Albert died she just put on this severe, unfeeling look and buried herself in her secret relationship with her lackey John Brown. The Victorians Mentally and Emotionally castrated every woman. man and child and we still haven't got out of that absurd mind-set. We can, and should, Grieve but we should not feel guilty. Yes, get angry at the waste of life.

I have never experienced this. I had a friend that I noticed was cutting himself and I told him about going to therapy and he did that, got well, and then ended up getting murdered... I really liked him as a person, was funny and always cracking jokes and just a fun person to be around but he messed around and got on crack and got unstable(I guess in the years when I was living out of state) and he happened to walk in to the group of where I was playing dominoes and I barely recognized him and I was glimpsing at him to see if I knew him and I noticed the cuts and I finished my game and called him over to my vehicle and had a nice talk with him...just seems like yesterday, so I'm sure that this is something close to it in a way because I heard that he got back on the stuff just before I heard about it on the news. Any death is shocking to someone that loves that person, from what I have seen. I just don't see/fathom someone being so able to take their own life, I'm glad I'm alive. I've went through depression before, but I got myself together because I couldn't see living like that. I hope your mind gets eased and you don't consider doing that to yourself. Grieve, keep loving the person, and do something that gives you purpose..which, living is a purpose...

pity the living

Fortunately, I have not been in your situation. I wish you well!

Death is death. When someone’s decides to end their life, be assured that there is nothing that you or anyone else can do to stop it. Sometimes people decide that they are done.

Any loss is heartbreaking and hard to understand

I don't think the loss of your friend should be any different than losing a family member. My daughter died in the hospital while going through a routine operation. I too felt empty, couldn't eat, found no pleasure in any activity and I miss her tremendously. From what I understand suicide comes when the person has lost all hope.People who do it don't try. They just decide when and then do it. It may sound cruel, but deep down I don't feel that you were serious when you "tried." It seems that you were just looking to confirm that somebody loved you. I came close to doing it once. I had lost all hope about everything. I got professional help, and some pretty good medications from a liscensed physician and I hardly ever go there again. Yes, occasionally I get feeling very low, but that's pretty much because I suffer from profound depression, PTSD, and I'm Bi-polar. Nothing is perfect and I'm not sure if I can ever be 'cured' but I just keep on carrying on and greet each day as an opportunity in stead of a challenge. Good Luck!

This is always hard because their logic is unfathomable.

All depends on your beliefs. I lost my daughter to a horse riding accident when she was only 13in 2005. Her best friend committed suicide in Jan 2023. She left a 2yr old son behind. She was intending to move back with her mum. But her partner pushed her over the edge. Anyway, psychics have helped me enormously. I have had 2 very good psychics but i have also had lots that disappointed me. They have been able to tell me things I knew but some I didn't. But most important I am assured they are happy. If you are interested there are a few books to read that may help. Two of which I love "life In The World Unseen" and "Matthew Tell Me about Heaven" You may be able to find a copy on ebay. The latter is an easier read. Anyway my heart goes out to you ....Hope some of this helps.

can someone ask happy questionss

very tough gig,i do feel for you, one of my best friends went through this and was a mess we ended up taking her her to a physcic not necessarily to get information about her friend but if you have ever had a reading they do make you feel good they bring out emotion they just tend to make you feel better about yourself and enable yourself to cope with what you are going through my friend went 3 times over 6 months and she came out crying every time but in the end she got her closure and now sees this lady twice a year i have no idea what they talked about but it defiantly helped her ,maybe it can help you ,i wish you well

car accidents are they suicide

Take your time, grief is a very personal thing. I am sorry for your loss and as much as we want to understand the why's without the person it will be very hard to understand the reasoning for such a final act. Take care and find some group that can help and yes maybe writing a letter to your friend will help. I wish you the best and all I can say is hang in there and it is up to you as people say time heals and we must hold onto hope always.

A great counsellor brought me to this understanding. "He was my best friend. I do not agree with his decision to end his life. However because he was my friend I accept his decision.

It’s so dam hard to deal with & I had to have counseling to help me deal with it. You feel like doing it yourself as it’s so hard. The “what if” or “if only” to which there is no answer. Just take time to work your way through it & it will eventually be easier but never understood. You never get over it but slowly get through it.Love 🧡 Edited 30-Jun-24 10:06am

I don’t have friend who did suicide

sad

Thank you Lyn

My dad committed suicide in 2008. I was absolutely heartbroken to say the least. It is so hard to get through. I'm not sure if I'm even over it yet. It is so unexpected and I am still finding myself wondering sometimes why. I tried counseling it didn't really do that much for me the one thing that I did find that helped me a little bit was writing a letter to my dad explaining my feelings etc. I mean I just really just dumped it all out in this letter. Then I went to his grave and I buried it there with him. I know that you feel helpless hopeless and completely just keep questioning everything. The truth of the matter is we never know how much pain somebody's in from the outside. And what a truly dark place that someone has to go to to take their own life. My dad's suicide nearly destroyed me. He was my best friend and I was his only daughter. I shared everything with my dad and it's hard. It leaves you with couldn't I have done more? What could I have said? And honestly the answer to that is nothing.. the answer is nothing. I Believe in My heart that when somebody goes to that dark place they can't come back. Whatever it is that got them there is so powerful that you can't get that person out of it. If they're determined that they are going to end their life it will happen one way or another and they will make sure of it. If I could have loved my dad enough to keep him alive he would be here. But the truth is there's no amount of love, I love him as much as I could I love to miss my as 10 people could. So now you've got to focus on something that is good something that maybe you and your friend like to do together something that your friend liked. Maybe even advocate for suicide awareness. You have a lot of options grab on to them and don't lose yourself. The thing about suicide is it's very selfish, can I do not think that people ever imagine when they're committing suicide how it affects the people left behind in the long run.

My sister told me it was like walking in a black hole every day and I was unable to help her, fortunately she came through it. I suggest counselling for r, it's an incredibly safe space. Why life is so dark for some people, is an unanswerable mystery I think

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please do get some help in working through this 💔 Hugs

I don't know.

Sad to hear. My daughter went thru similar situation many years ago [she is now in her 50's] She took herself away from everything she was familiar with other than her dog and her car, and basically "went bush" [in a totally different area of the country.] sleeping in her car with her dog, doing seasonal jobs [middle of NZ winter] bathing in the mountain river. She got her first and only tattoo to commemorate her friend. after 3 years she realised there was nothing she could have done and came back and got on with her life 'as normal'. Hang in there, remember the good times you had together, and don't feel it is your fault [I know easier said than done]. If a person really feels the need to leave this world, nothing will stop them.Look after you

your not alone stay strong !

Sorry for your loss and hope you will see the help you need to cope and eventually go on.

Sorry for your loss, reach out and talk to a counsellor about how you’re feeling.

I would not know. cancer took my father. But if dying was his choice, i think i'd feel worse. you need closer that you didn't get. id say plant a tree or garden in her name.

Reach for help and support, you don't need to go through your grief alone.

My mother in law committed suicide over 15 years ago and we still haven't gotten over it but somehow you are able to move forward without ever forgetting. My wife and her family got counseling and she still does that when she needs it so maybe it could help you to talk to someone and take their advice.

For any loss of cause we must grieve. We can only help ourselves in this life, before we can help other’s, in memory of her reach out for the support you need and then you will have the tools to be your best self and your purpose here…

This happened. to me just over two years ago. I am still dealing with the stages of grief. Your grief is still so raw try to remember to take it one day at a time.

Stop questioning....why did this happen? How could I have stopped this? What could I have done? Instead remember them, plant a rose bush, start a photo album..... This doesn't happen overnight, they are in torment well beforehand. By remembering them they will be kept alive in thoughts. Time will become your best friend to overcome the grief, all the best.

It's very hard to deal with it. I find myself meditating alot of the time. But the feeling never truly goes away. You'll always have the questions. Why? Maybe I should have there for you more often? What made you think that this was the only way out?

There is so much guilt felt by those of us who didn't know or realise what was happening in their mind. However, we cannot be blamed but need to ensure we become more aware of those around us and if it happens with others all we can do is ensure we do not become so insular and depressed that we follow that path. We are born for one purpose and that is to make this world a better place because we were blessed with the gift of life. It is so sad when some become so mentally obsessed with their own self and problems that they cannot do this and others are left with the pain and guilt. At the moment you need professional help to open up your feelings and to move on to a positive life not held back by your grief. 🦋Edited 30-Jun-24 07:06am

I am very sorry for your lose if you are having a hard time with this i would get help from a professional I am sure they will be able to help you through this I hope all goes well for you we are all hear for you try to stay strong Morenita always in our hearts

I am sorry get some help from a professional.

Just last week one of my grandsons tried to do the same thing. He is now fighting for his life in hospital it’s so sad

This is so sad to see a loved one take their own life. It is not your fault and she probably could not deal with the pain anymore. Sadly some people are not able to reach out and it leaves the ones left feeling guilty. You can only do your best and help when you can. Sometimes it is not enough and the person still commits suicide, even with multiple options of help.

PRAY and trust that we have a real God who loves and guides us

I'm so very, very sorry for your terrible loss. Prayers for you & all others affected.

My heart felt prayers go out to you at this very difficult time ❤️

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Try and keep yourself busy. Sometimes I feel sad and when I take my dog for a walk it helps. Try and go for a walk once or twice a day. Animals can be a great comfort to ease the pain.

Suicide is the most selfish, cowardly act a person can do, they don't think of this at all, the hurt, the pain and sorrow they leave, all you can do is forgive and remember the good, time does not heal this wound, my son killed himself 25 years ago, the pain is still with me, be strong dear lady, remember the good, I wish you well

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Please, do no feel responsible for what she did, or because you feel like you should have been there for her, or could have done more. According to the Bible, in part, at Ecclesiastes 9:11,"...because time and unexpected events (or 'unforeseen occurrence') overtake them all." Please read also verse 12. Know she's not in pain anymore, but, according to the Bible, in part, at Acts 24:15, "...that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous." Only God knows why she took her life, and only God can judge her. She still has a chance of living forever on a paradise earth! Please read Palm chapter 37 for comfort. Know she is only 'sleeping' in the grave. I lost my stepson to suicide. He was only 20 years old. His father had moved me to Whidbey Island, then abandoned me. Stephen was dead before a year passed. I blamed him dad, but only God knows why. Remember the good! ;-D

It took me a lifetime to try and cope with it, when i lost my first granddaughter . I just put her at the back of my mind and carry on living until we meet again

I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced this. Take care if your self. Take time to get the help you need.

Unfortunately, It's really sad when this happens because you feel like you wasn't a true best friend because it wouldn't have happened if you knew how bad the situation was, cause you could of been there constantly reminding them that you are there for them through thick and thin , not ever going to let you feel that you aren't worthy because you are and GOD made us all special.

It is rough. I lost my only nephew through suicide two and a half years ago. He had bipolar and some other health problems. He was a sweet person and always gave everyone as big bear hug.. I miss him every day. I still have this photo over my computer desk. He still lives in my heart,

This happened to me about 20 years ago. My friend had been suffering from depression but had counselling and was feeling much better. She then committed suicide to everyone's surprise

I am so sorry for your loss Morenita. While you are grieving, think about all the wonderful things your friend was to you. Then when you are ready be those things to others. This dedication would be in loving memory of her. Best wishes to you dear lady.

Day by day.

I would take it very badly! I would miss her big heart, numerous conversations, and our visits together.

That is so very sad. I have never had this happen to anyone I know and it must be very devastating for you. Just know she will forever be in your heart.

so sorry for your loss I had 2 incidents which to people did the same thing one was my grandma on my dad's side, and one was a wrangler at an old ranch which is disappointment when people do this Edited 30-Jun-24 00:50am

So sorry for your loss Morenita. This has never happened to me but I can understand you would be going through the various confusing stages of grief right now. She was stronger than you at your time of darkness and was there for you as your light. Once you've worked through some of this shock ,perhaps you can see that you would never want to think about doing that yourself again and spare your own loved ones this type of pain. You can now be the strength and light down here for your beautiful friend . Keep hold of a couple of strong happy memories you had with her that you can quickly focus back on when you feel yourself falling . She will be always with you. 💕xx

Please do not blame yourselves when this happens to you. It has nothing to do with you, as much as you know you would've given anything to help. I am a person who has struggled with depression for over 50 years. I am on some strong medication that helps ease my moods but I have been suicidal in many, many instances. Multiple traumas in my life/PTSD, anxiety, depression, .... I have considered ending my life anywhere from a few seconds to a full day. It's been over embarrassment, an extremely abusive man I'd married, money problems, sexual abuse by a pastor, sexual abuse by my grandfather, .... It honestly has nothing to do with anyone close to me and if I ever decided to go through with it, I have nobody to blame but the Monster Inside Me. I have to find reasons to keep going. You cannot do anything about that. Please find some peace in just a wee bit of my story.

We all go at some point, some sooner than others.. anytime I start feeling sorrow over missing loved ones I tell myself, if I were dead looking down on my loved ones, I wouldn't want them to spend their lives feeling sad and sick over me, I'd want to see them enjoying their lives! So try hard for your friend to let her look down on you as she knew you, not sickly in sorrow

Yes I have lost the Godfather to my first born and he was 27. He was under treatment but nothing stopped the inevitable with him. It is sad and difficult for the ones left behind who feel like they should have known. His mother felt nothing but anger and his father aged over night. People left behind especially parents, siblings and friends feel the loss. You will hurt but it will lessen with time. Just remember the good times and smile and laugh about these memories. Always remember tomorrow is another day and things will look better.